Escape to Nowhere
by garfieldodie
Summary: Calvin and Hobbes find themselves on the run from intergalactic bounty hunters. Kicking off their summer vacation with a mad escape into space with Andy, Sherman and Socrates isn't what they expected. Nor did they expect an extra passenger who's about to cause them loads of trouble. COMPLETE
1. The Escape pt I

**Author's Note: **_I'mma be honest about this. Updates for this story will be sporadic at best, and pretty much whenever I finish writing a chapter. Going to do my best to make sure no more than two weeks passes between updates, what with school and work kicking my butt now. Enjoy this story, which was actually inspired by one of my favorite movies. See if you can figure it out._

* * *

Running for their lives was not how the gang expected summer vacation to begin.

Calvin, Hobbes and Socrates checked over their shoulders to see if the giant creature was still behind them. It was a gigantic charcoal black being blood red eyes and fire spewing from its nostrils, suggesting that it would probably breathe fire at some point, but it hadn't yet. It was a possibility that they were entirely okay with never dealing with.

They pelted up the sidewalk towards Calvin's house with utmost determination. They had only meant to go to the general store to stock up on snack food for their upcoming journey. Imagine their surprise when they'd found themselves confronted with a great swirly thing in midair that spat the monster out. The MTM had identified it as a void jumper that could leap from universe to universe simply through mental engineering. It'd be fascinating if it hadn't been trying to kill them in that precise moment.

The house loomed before them, and Calvin, Hobbes and Socrates pelted down the walkway to the backyard, making sure the creature didn't damage any of their property as they did. Calvin knew his parents would have a fit if anything got damaged, and he also knew they'd never believe his story in a million years. They made it into the yard where a familiar red wagon was waiting. They piled into it, using the momentum to send them rolling down the slope towards Sneer Hill. The monster bounded after them.

The idea was to lure the creature away from the town into the secluded forest. They had a pretty good idea of how they were going to vanquish the creature, but they needed to make sure they were in a good location first.

They ducked and weaved the creature through the trees, tripping it several times as they bounded over bumps and rocks. They weren't sure why it had shown up now of all times. It just wasn't a simple coincidence. They were getting ready for a trip into space with the rest of their team, and they knew that they would be gone for some time. How odd that on the day they were leaving that this thing was chasing after them!

The reason they were making this trip into space was because they had to run away as fast as they could. They received notice that some sort of intergalactic bounty hunters were on their tails – even those that didn't have tails. They didn't know how or why. Someone had put out a warrant for their arrest, and it involved traveling across entire galaxies to find out. They didn't know who had done it or what they had been charged with, but Galaxoid and Nebular had confirmed it through their various interlopers throughout the galaxy.

The creature was baring down on them, so Calvin steered them down another pathway they hardly ever used except in emergencies – which was actually fairly frequent. There was a low hanging branch over a steep drop off. As soon as they were on it, all three of them raised their arms – Calvin grabbing the lower part while Hobbes and Socrates grabbed the higher part – and they swung up into the trees, leaving the wagon to continue down the hill with the creature still chasing after it, momentarily fooled before it registered what had happened and turning back.

Calvin, Hobbes and Socrates climbed up into the sturdy trees. They were very familiar with the layout of the forest and knew which ones were safe to climb on. Calvin grabbed onto Hobbes's back, and they leapfrogged from one tree to another. The creature watched from below, still chasing after them, but it was so busy looking straight up that it proceeded to collide with the tree trunks in its path.

Taking advantage of its momentary confusion, they found the one tree that they needed. It was an old tree that had fallen years ago but was still propped up diagonally by some of the others. Hobbes and Socrates, still carrying Calvin, bounded along the branches until they reached it, and then, with claws fully extended, slid down like firemen down a pole and thudded onto the ground, running further into the woods. The creature rubbed its sore noggin and picked up their scent.

As they ran, they reflected on why Andy and Sherman hadn't joined them that morning. They had explained that someone was coming with them on the trip. It seemed a little odd that they would bring along a friend during their journey through space while on the run from murderous bounty hunters, but Sherman had been rather insistent. They had simply shrugged and hoped he wouldn't take up too much room. They were going to meet them at the spaceship in a few minutes anyway.

They soon found themselves up against a boulder. It was large and seemingly too big to run around. They stopped to catch their breath, and then they leaned against it in apparent terror when they heard the creature bounding down the hill toward them. It saw them cornered. If it had human emotions, it would've smirked at how easy its prey had just become. No more running away. They were trapped. It was time for ramming speed. It galloped like a herd of buffalo in their direction, all set to squash them and then gobble down the remains.

Calvin checked his watch while still pretending to look frightened. Any second now…

Then, there was a metallic clanking sound thundering from the slope to their right. The trio looked up and saw the wagon, still rolling on its own, rattling along the rocks and dirt in their direction. With only seconds before the beast was on them again, they timed their moment, and then all three of them jumped into the wagon as it passed, riding it down the rest of the hill, while the creature collided with the boulder, putting a nasty crack down the center of it.

Back on track, Calvin steered the wagon in the direction of a slope that would take them to their destination. They bucked and bounced along it, flew across a deep chasm, and rattled down the path towards a nearby clearing that had what they were looking for in it. It was their ticket out of here.

The spaceship was parked in the large clearing, all set to take them away.

Andy was already out front, chucking suitcases and duffle bags into a dull green beam of light that was picking everything up and putting it away in vacuum storage. Calvin had offered to put all their belongings into his hypercube, but Andy felt it would do them a world of good to keep their clothes and various other paraphernalia separate. He looked over his shoulder at the metallic rattling – he'd heard the heavy footsteps thirty minutes ago but it hadn't fazed him – and he waved them in his direction. He chucked the last suitcase into the green beam, allowing it to disappear, and then he snapped his fingers up to the spaceship, and a blue beam came down and took him away.

Calvin, Hobbes and Socrates were determined to make it to the spaceship, but they were equally determined to make their arrival as cool as possible with the giant creature on their heels. They aimed for the spot Andy had been standing, but in the process, they hit a rock that sent them flying through the air. They all went tumbling end-over-end a couple times before they enter another blue beam, and they and the wagon vanished into thin air.

The creature was just coming up the hill to deal with its prey, only to come face-to-face with a red beam of light. It skidded to a halt just in front of it, startled, and as quickly as it had appeared, it disappeared, and then it looked down to see Galaxoid and Nebular were standing in front of it, and they were both holding heavy-duty guns of some sort that were aimed right it. The two smaller aliens locked and loaded, and then they fired some sort of energy beam into the air behind the creature.

Space and time warped for a few seconds before a portal opened up, and the creature felt something grip its entire body like a vice. It clawed at the air helplessly as the suction picked it up and hauled it inside, back to the plane of interdimensional travel and away from our heroes. A few seconds later, the portal resealed itself shut, and it was though it had never existed.

Galaxoid and Nebular nodded with satisfaction and pressed a button on their uniforms, and the blue beam came down and took them into the ship.

Calvin, Hobbes and Socrates picked themselves off the floor of the spaceship. They hadn't even hit the floor. They just appeared on it in the last positions they had been in – which was awkward for Socrates, as he'd been upside-down. The beam had transformed the energy of their momentum into realized energy, such as heat and light, so they had been able to cease traveling without having to injure themselves in the process.

Calvin dusted himself off. "I really need to get one of these energy converters for the wagon," he said pleasantly.

"And then one for your parents' car when you turn sixteen," Hobbes agreed.

Andy entered the room with Sherman on his shoulder. "Where'd your friend come from?" he asked.

"Portal outside the general store," Socrates replied. "The manager really needs to screen his customers."

"We'd never get in, otherwise," Sherman quipped.

"Does this mean you didn't get the gummy worms?" Andy asked.

Calvin reached into his pocket and tossed a bag of artificially flavored gummy candies that resembled worms to his friend. "One day, we'll figure out the connection between bears and worms and why they were chosen to be gummy."

Galaxoid and Nebular slithered into the room, having put the big guns away and preparing themselves to play the role of tour guide. They had been the ones to intercept the message in the first place, and they felt a need to protect their Earth pals. "Right then," Galaxoid announced. "We're boosting into hyperspace. We'll be outside the Milky Way within the hour, and then we'll park in the orbiting garage on the galaxy-limits."

"We're going to meet up with another ship and get onboard the _SSS Bragnorfoloff_ and travel to the planet Flargnong at a relief center for refugees."

Everyone stared at them. Calvin broke silence with, "_Ragnorfoloff_?"

Galaxoid shrugged. "That's as close to English as we could translate it."

"So we'll be to our new ship in an hour?" Socrates asked. "What kind of place is it?"

"Standard relaxation cruiser," Nebular replied. "We'll have compartment. Unfortunately, we couldn't get a private one, so we'll have to share it with someone. Still, with eight of us and one of them, it should be fairly tolerable."

"As long as aliens don't eat beans," Sherman muttered.

Hobbes did a brief headcount. "Eight? There're only seven of us."

"Yeah, well, you've yet to meet our extra passenger," Andy sighed.

"Who is it? What's the big mystery?" Calvin asked.

"Come on," Sherman said. "He's in the baggage compartment."

Andy and Sherman set off ahead of them, leaving Calvin, Hobbes and Socrates to briefly look at each other in confusion. Their extra passenger was in the baggage compartment. Still, they shrugged and headed in that direction to see who it was.

The baggage compartment wasn't all that crowded, and they pushed a few bags away to find themselves looking into a pair of beady little eyes. Before them was a small cage that resembled the one Sherman slept inside of when he wasn't out and about. That's right, it was a hamster cage. And inside it was a hamster.

It was an elderly hamster with white fur that had clearly once been brown like Sherman's. He still looked wiry and energetic, without a hint of lethargy to be found. He glared up at them with utter contempt. It put Calvin in mind of Sherman when they'd first met him, before he'd mellowed over the years and gotten used to them.

"To think my own grandson would put me behind bars!" the elderly hamster snapped.

Calvin, Hobbes and Socrates double took a couple of times, and then looked between the two hamsters – one young, one old, both similar in a few ways.

"Grandson?!" Calvin exclaimed.

"Wait…," Socrates said, holding up his paws in confusion before addressing Sherman. "Is he talking about _you_?"

"No, he's _my _grandfather," Andy said suddenly. "I'm the result of a bizarre genetic experiment. Of _course_ he's talking about Sherman!"

Sherman shook his head. "He's my grandfather, yes."

Hobbes looked thoughtful. "It never occurred to me that hamsters had grandparents. Seems so obvious now…"

"What's he doing here?" Calvin asked.

"Oh, he's brokenhearted," said Sherman dismissively. "His wife ran off with some guy. Mother thinks it was his pastry. Anyway, she told me to take him out for a bit, and it coincided with our run from intergalactic law, so here we are."

The story didn't make a lick of sense, so they didn't bother to question it. As far as our heroes were concerned, they were so often bombarded with patently ridiculous situations on a daily basis, and the idea of rodent infidelity didn't register very high on their 'weirdness scale' at the point. Maybe it would've a few years ago, but now it was a bit too domestic to be strange.

They took in the older hamster – who they decided silently they would refer to as "Grandfather" for simplicity's sake – and decided that he was all right. He was looking at them with a neutral expression that concerned them, but for now, they were content that he was just sitting there.

Socrates decided to be amiable and went over to the cage. "Hello, Grandfather," he said pleasantly.

"Hello," Grandfather replied sourly.

This delighted Socrates to no end as he glanced over at Sherman. "He can talk?"

"Of course he can talk! Why wouldn't he be able to talk?" Sherman asked indignantly, as if it were a foolish question that a hamster should be able to talk.

"Why's he locked up?" Calvin asked.

"Because he's a troublemaker," Sherman groused. "A true old rabble-rouser."

"That's a lie," Grandfather replied evenly. "I've never roused a rabble in my entire life. I'm locked in here because this grandson of mine can't accept that I'm a free spirit!"

"Since when does being engaged to three different women constitute being a 'free spirit'?"

Hobbes accidentally let his eyebrows spring up over his face in a moment of surprise. "Three?"

"It was a time of peace and love and tenderness…," Grandfather said in a wistful tone.

"It was last month," Sherman grunted.

"Doesn't waste any time, does he?" Socrates chuckled.

Calvin nodded, observing the older hamster thoughtfully. "Very clean, though, isn't he? I take it we're looking after him as well as ourselves."

"Don't trouble yourself, kid," Grandfather grumbled, pouting in a manner that reminded them of Sherman when he was having a sulk. "I'll look after myself. No bounty hunters are going to lay their grubby mitts on me."

"He'd probably bite them," Andy muttered.

Grandfather sneered in Andy's direction, and that act alone made the boy feel eight inches tall. It would've been three inches, but he was trying to be generous to himself. Something about that disapproving gaze was able to knock a few blocks off his self-esteem and question his very existence. It didn't happen to him very often. Andy was often regarded as a very easygoing kid who enjoyed relaxation, but sometimes, he let his sarcasm and sanity slip momentarily in favor of uncertainty and worry.

Calvin checked his watch. "It's going to be time to switch to the cruiser soon," he announced. "What say we leave Grandfather to stew and catch a glimpse of the Milky Way in fast forward?"

"Sounds good to me," Hobbes said. "After all, how often do we get up here?"

"Twice a month, usually," Sherman deadpanned, but he agreed all the same.

They all turned to leave, but Grandfather's gruff voice echoed behind them.

"That's right. Leave the elderly behind. I'll just sit in the dark then."

They all stopped turning to leave and glanced at him.

Sherman cleared his throat. "Grandfather, you know why you're down here."

"Fascist!"

"That, too."

Without another word, the five exited the cargo hold to prepare for the rest of their journey.


	2. The Compartment

The space port was quiet when they arrived – which was only logical, as sound doesn't travel in space. Galaxoid and Nebular swapped information at the holographic ticket counter and passed through into a secret parking place to leave their ship. They had arranged for a private shuttle to transport them from their ship to the next one.

The _SSS Bragnorfoloff_ was a large and definitely not inconspicuous ship. It was almost like an ocean liner suspended in space. There were loads of aliens walking to and fro, carrying luggage, shouting at each other and trying to make it the ship on time.

Calvin pressed his face against the glass window on his side of the shuttle, looking up at it. It was a sight that made his heart speed up. He was practically bouncing with excitement. The adventure was about to begin.

He briefly took stock of his fellow passengers. Hobbes was thumbing absently through a magazine, enjoying the article about some famous film actress who he thought was, in his own words, 'a smoochable lady'. Socrates was even bouncier than Calvin, constantly bouncing around with delight. Andy was looking a little distracted for some reason, while Sherman was sitting on top of the cage that held Grandfather, who was just glaring up at him, definitely claustrophobic.

Calvin grinned as they came in to land at the space dock. It was time to get on board.

* * *

Galaxoid and Nebular herded the gang in the direction of the compartment they would be sitting in. They were walking down a surprisingly narrow hallway on board the new ship. How it could be so much bigger than the last one and yet so cramped was beyond them. They squeezed through, trying not to lose their luggage in the process.

"We spoke to our contact at the dock," Galaxoid was saying. "They've heard from the bounty hunters. They were asking a lot of questions. They only reason they haven't entered the Milky Way is because it's in a neutral zone."

"Neutral zone?" Calvin repeated. "That doesn't stop a whole bunch of other nasties trying to sneak in and blast us."

"Then they're doing that illegally," Nebular replied evenly. "Something no doubt the bounty hunters would do eventually if you stayed too long."

"That's the whole point of this trip," Hobbes said with a nod. "To draw their fire away from Earth."

"At least this way, we still have a planet to go back to," Socrates agreed.

They were just passing a baggage compartment. Galaxoid turned to face them. "Okay, did everyone remember their tags?"

The quintet held up their luggage, showing some bright green tags with digitized numbers flashing on them.

"Good. Stick them down the shoot. They'll be transported to the hotel separate from us."

Taking that to mean they weren't going to be likely to be seeing their luggage again anytime soon, Calvin hugged his duffle bag and chucked it down the chute as instructed. He still had his hypercube to be safe, but still, he had some things he wasn't eager to lose.

"We'll see to things up front with our next contact," Galaxoid said, handing Calvin a small piece of paper. "This has your compartment number on it. We'll meet you in the canteen on the next floor."

"Roger," Calvin replied, scanning the paper's scribbles.

"I want something to eat," Grandfather announced, having decided to assert some degree of independence.

Sherman looked put out in his grandfather's direction. "Without me?" He was a bit dubious on the idea of letting him out of the cage.

"Why not?" Socrates asked. "He can go with them, and we won't have the old man breathing down our snorkels."

"He can come with us," Galaxoid said.

"Then take care of him," the younger hamster ordered. "I don't want to find out you've lost him."

"They could keep him in the cage," Andy suggested reasonably. "They could fit food through the bars."

Grandad aimed another calculated glare in the boy's direction, and it was like his whole spinal column had decalcified on the spot. He shrank back and hid behind Hobbes. Something about the older hamster was sapping him of his self-confidence – of which, he was forced to admit he didn't have much of to begin with.

"Come on, Grandad," Nebular said cheerily, taking the cage in his tentacle. "We'll get you a blom burger – extra-tiny and all yours."

Grandad nodded approvingly.

Galaxoid and Nebular nodded goodbye and made their way up the cramped corridor, passing through a junction that would take them to the lift.

Calvin and the others followed the alien numbering on the walls until they came to a small door with a glass window. They slipped the paper into a slot, which turned out to be the keyhole, and the doors slid open, granting them access to the tiny room. They found six seats with a nice big window that allowed them a view of the galaxies whizzing past.

Calvin, Hobbes and Socrates took the three seats on the left while Andy and Sherman took two of the other three seats on the right. They settled down and took in their surroundings.

At last, Socrates broke the silence. "I've been in closets that were bigger than this," he grumbled.

Calvin rolled his eyes and steered the conversation to something more interesting. "So, Sherman – what's the deal with this grandfather of yours? How come we've never heard of him before?"

"Or _any _of your family, for that matter," Hobbes added, earning a few eager nods from the others.

"I don't keep in touch with them, usually," Sherman replied, looking ridiculously adorable as a tiny hamster in a comparatively giant seat. "But my mother was insistent we give him some scenery."

"Does she know we're all the way out here?"

"No, I'd rather she remained in the dark about that little detail. Comprende?"

The others nodded in agreement. Calvin especially was appreciative of the potential dangers of one's mother finding out the truth of one's whereabouts.

"So what are we going to do with him? Tote him around everywhere in the cage?" Socrates asked.

"For as long as we can manage. I tell you, the guy's a villain. He could manipulate nations to war if he felt like it."

"Really?"

"So long as they weren't fighting in his neighborhood, sure."

They all looked at each other, their curiosity having been considerably piqued.

Before the next topic of conversation could be decided upon, however, they heard the sound of someone outside their door. There was a great deal of clattering as someone fiddled with the keyhole they had earlier used, and it began to occur to them that there were six seats in the compartment, but only five of them.

The door slid open, and there stood a tall burly alien. He was roughly humanoid, and he wore some sort of uniform that seemed to resemble a business suit. A brief calculation in Calvin's brain told him this was not an enemy. Just some irritable grump who wanted a seat and was determined to find one. He glared into the room with his five beady eyes, all of which were yellow and green. He walked in on his three legs and sat down in the seat between Andy and Sherman.

The quintet looked at each other, as if they were speaking telepathically. There was something about him – something impatient and easily frustrated, as if he couldn't stand the thought of having people within a hundred yards of him. It wasn't that they couldn't sympathize with that. Not everyone's a people person. The trouble they were having with his presence was that he seemed to project waves of dislike. He didn't even bother to hide his contempt. He just glared at them, and with five eyes, he could get them all simultaneously.

After a brief pause, he reached into a pocket on his clothes and pulled out some sort of device that resembled a Tablet. It grew in size, almost entirely blocking him from view. It made it a little difficult for them to keep staring at him. Andy, who was closest to him, looked him up and down from the side. His clothes were very clean, and the three shoes he wore were impeccably shined. This was a fellow who couldn't stand not having a thing out of place.

Having completed their silent assertions that this was not someone who wanted to talk, the five of them decided that they would be respectful of this and keep quiet. It was actually a bit relaxing after all the hubbub from earlier. They glanced around the room, and then they remembered the window. There was a great big sun shining outside. They were speeding it past it at a great rate, but they were still close enough that the light could shine inside, almost cancelling out the fluorescent bulbs above them. There was something exciting about this – an alien sun shining on them. All five were mesmerized as they admired it.

However, this beauty was lost on their new passenger, who noticed the sunlight was creating a glare on his screen, so he promptly got up and pulled down a shade, blocking out the light. The room became pale and sterile as the bulbs above them reasserted their dominance. The passenger glared at them again, and then went back to his reading device, hiding behind it once again.

Sherman looked at Hobbes, who looked at Socrates, who looked at Andy, who looked at Calvin, who looked at the passenger with his eyes narrowed. Respect had just gone out the window. They were going to have some fun.

Taking a raised eyebrow from Calvin as his cue, Andy cleared his throat, at last breaking the terrible silence. "Excuse me," he said politely, "but do you mind if we open that?"

"Yes," the biting reply came. "I do."

"But there's five of us," Socrates said reasonably, "and we'd like it open."

"And _I _want it shut. I travel on this ship regularly, so I suppose I have _some _rights."

"And we don't, I suppose," Calvin said softly.

The alien simply raised his device higher to establish a barrier, as if that were enough to keep the riffraff out. Calvin looked at the back of the device, noting how boring and uninteresting it looked. His eyes narrowed again – always a dangerous sign. The others knew he was a mastermind at creating havoc and awaited some sort of direction from him.

It came after five seconds, wherein Calvin tapped Hobbes on the knee, and the tiger knew exactly what to do. He reached under the seat and rooted around in the hypercube, trying to fish out something that would adequately serve their little rebellion. He finally pulled out a portable radio and set it down in his lap. He fiddled with it for a moment before a nice orchestra started playing. They didn't recognize the tune, but the others nodded in approval, bobbing their heads and tapping their fingers in time with the brass section and percussion.

The alien lowered his device so he could lean over press the 'off' button. "And we'll have that thing off as well, thank you," he said breezily.

He pressed it, and the music ceased. They all looked at him indignantly. "But…!" Hobbes started.

"If you will happen to look up in any copy of the galactic law concerning interplanetary travel will tell you I am perfectly within my rights!" he snapped hurriedly, clearly trying to squelch any rebellion before they got too powerful for him.

The five friends were clearly trying to deal with their frustration with this jerk head. Calvin was clearly having the most difficult. "But we want it on!" he objected. "And there's more of us than you! We're a community! We've got the majority vote! And we want to hear it!"

"Agreed," Sherman added, "and if you want to revote, there's another election four years from today."

The alien simply looked down his nose at them, as though he was so incredibly high above them. "Then take it outside. Preferably in steerage or in an airlock, where riffraff like you obviously belong."

Socrates just leaned in close, taking advantage of the fact that the reading device was down and the alien's face was where he could get it. "Kiss me," he leered, taking great delight in the officious creature's scandalized expression.

"Oh, knock it off," Hobbes admonished before continuing their point. "Look, mister, we paid for our seats too, you know. We're entitled to the same things you are."

"How dare you!" the alien gasped, looking downright offended. "I travel on this ship regularly! Twice a week!"

"So it's your ship?" Andy asked, leaning back and taking a conversational tone. "How much did you pay for it?"

"Or do they just give it to you after so many frequent flier miles?" Socrates suggested.

"How many miles do you rack up only twice a week?" Sherman wondered out loud.

"Wouldn't it be light years?" Calvin pointed out.

The alien groaned under the weight of his own superiority. "To think I fought in the Belagosian War to protect the rights and freedoms of you miserable creatures…"

"If only you'd lost…," Andy said in agreement.

"Yes, then you could read whatever you're reading in peace," Hobbes added with a nod.

The alien straightened in his seat. "That's it. I'm calling for a guard. Have you lot taken away."

This caused all five to freeze. Fun time was over. If he called the guard like he said he would, that meant they ran the risk of giving themselves away. The bounty hunters would have something to go on, and it was a rule when you're on the run to never leave a paper trail of any sort.

Thinking quickly, Calvin steered the conversation to a more surrendering tone. "What'll you call him?" he teased lightly before waving the others along. "Come on, boys. I believe we have an appointment in the saloon anyway."

Mutual looks of agreement passed among them, and they all stood up. Andy scooped up Sherman, and they headed out the door, letting it close behind them.

The alien let out a sigh brimming of smug superiority. He reactivated his reading device and leaned back in his seat. His five eyes skimmed the material with great relief.

But then, he was interrupted by a knocking on the door, and he looked up in confusion, and his expression became one of terror when he saw five faces – two human, two feline and one rodent – all pressed against the window in the door, each making a disgusting face of some sort.

"Enjoy the room, mister!" Calvin jeered.

The alien was so startled he dropped his device on the floor, and it made a nasty sound that resembled something breaking. Satisfied, the five friends pulled away and darted up the hallway before the creature got his wits back, and when he looked up, all he saw was the smudged glass – a totem pole of fog to remind him for the rest of the journey who he had shared this cabin with. Almost ready to explode with rage, he set about making sure his device wasn't too badly damaged.


	3. The Engagement

As part of their plan to travel incognito, the gang had been given each their own perception filters to keep attention off of them. Once they were in the corridor leading to the canteen, they took out the five necessary necklaces – four normal ones and one tiny one – and made their way out into the open, passing the various extraterrestrial passengers along the way, and completely unnoticed. It was a necessary technology bestowed upon them. Now they'd be able to have a glass of alien soda pop in peace.

Upon entering the canteen, the quintet saw straight away that they should never have left Galaxoid and Nebular alone and unprepared to deal with Sherman's Grandfather. Part way across the half-empty room, the two aliens were opposite each other at a table, and they were arguing. It was an amazing sight. The pair had travelled together for years without so much as a harsh word, and here they were bickering like an old couple.

Between them, sat on the table with a tiny bag of chips, was Grandfather – still in his cage, wearing an expression that could only be covering some massive guilt.

To Calvin, it was a thing of beauty. He had never seen Galaxoid and Nebular fight before. Granted, he only ever saw them when they popped 'round for a visit on their side of the universe, and that was only ever once or twice a month. He could only watch in silent amazement as they leaned across the table, heated words interchanging. Deciding it wouldn't do them any good to let this continue when they were supposed to be in hiding, he led the others to the table in the mild interest of calming them down.

Galaxoid was hissing furiously at Nebular. "You act all innocent, sitting over there!"

"I didn't do anything wrong! You can't prove a thing!" Nebular protested uncomfortably.

"So you keep saying! I have half a mind to run you in to galactic court! Then we'll see how you hold up!"

"You haven't a shred of evidence!"

Grandfather simply winked slyly at Galaxoid. "That's what his sort _always _say."

"I've got a whole history to look back on! Just see if I don't…" Galaxoid trailed off when he noticed Calvin and the gang standing off to the side, watching them in bewilderment.

Socrates stepped forward with the air of a referee. "Okay, boys – I want a clean fight! No poking each other's giant eye, no pointy hat stabbing, no tentacle slapping! May the best Annkorian win!"

Galaxoid slumped down in his chair, slightly embarrassed. "_He _started it," he said awkwardly.

"No, I didn't!" Nebular protested. "You did!"

"What happened, precisely?" Hobbes inquired.

Nebular pointed at an old photograph of the quintet on the tabletop. They recognized it as their "Wanted" poster. It had their names in print, along with some mostly inaccurate details about their pasts, suggesting that Calvin was a drug dealer, Hobbes was a diamond smuggler, Socrates was a mass-murderer, Sherman was dealing in counterfeit money, and Andy was their driver. The eight-year-old was a little miffed on that one.

"The elderly hamster wished to have the poster as a souvenir of the adventure, and Galaxoid said he couldn't. So I said, 'oh, come on, Galaxoid. Be big about it.'"

"Right! And your grandfather pointed out how Nebular was being taller than me just to spite… me…," Galaxoid said, slowing down as he realized how ridiculous that sounded.

"Ah…," Sherman said, glaring at his ancestor in the cage looking back at him innocently. "I might have known _he _started it."

"What?" Galaxoid asked with a frown.

"He hates unity and friendship of any sort. He's finds it trite and a waste of time, so he divides and conquers, as it were. Won't rest until everyone's bickering with each other."

"Doesn't work for Congress, does he?" Socrates asked.

"He's very effective," Calvin remarked, looking at the two aliens as they came down from their quarrel. "Have you two ever even fought before?"

Nebular thought for a moment. "… There was once we couldn't decide what to put on our pizza."

"Few can order a pizza _without _that argument," Andy agreed.

"Well," Hobbes said with complete wisdom, "I say you let the old rat have the photo and be done with it."

Galaxoid looked worried. "It's a 'wanted' poster…"

"I'll just have the photo for prosperity," Grandfather said reasonably. "You can keep the text and what-have-you. Only the picture of my grandson and his friends to hang on the side of this entrapment."

"Sounds reasonable to me," Socrates agreed.

Galaxoid finally decided that he didn't want to incur the elderly hamster's wrath again. If he had only been manipulating them for fun earlier, he could only imagine what he'd do with proper fury. "Oh, all right," he said, taking the photo and carefully ripping off the bottom half. He rolled the picture up and slid it into the cage.

Grandfather smiled beatifically and unrolled it. "Oh, Shermie – be a good lad and sign this for me, will you? Prosperity, you know?"

Sherman rolled his eyes, but he figured it was harmless enough of a request and climbed down Andy's arm, pulling out a tiny ink pen from who-knows-where, and reached through the cage to sign his name. He was halfway through when he grew suspicious and threw his elder a glance. Grandfather smiled so charmingly that he finished writing and went back across the table.

Galaxoid and Nebular stood. "We're going to the compartment for a bit," Galaxoid said. "Anyone coming?"

"After we've had lunch or something," Calvin replied. "We'll catch you up."

The two aliens nodded and departed, friends once more and their argument a distant memory.

Hobbes, meanwhile, threw a glance in the direction of a table down the aisle from them and let out a low whistle. "Babe alert…," he murmured.

Andy was the only one to turn and look. "Where?"

Grandfather looked up as well. There were two feminine-looking aliens sitting at a lone table, chatting animatedly. If you were one of their species, you'd have thought they were immensely attractive. If you weren't one of their species, you'd have thought they were surprisingly attractive. They were a pair of petite green-skinned lovelies in skin-tight jumpsuits and three eyes each.

"Surprisingly humanoid," Calvin said dourly, still maintaining his long-standing belief that all girls were slimy and not to be trusted.

"Are we allowed to say 'hello' on our little excursion into nowhere?" Hobbes asked hopefully.

"Couldn't hurt," Socrates said with a shrug. "Just don't try any filthy ne'er-do-welling in front of her. Don't want to scar their poor feminine minds in your quest for smooches and rainbows."

Hobbes frowned at him. "What the heck did _that _mean?"

Socrates shrugged. "I'm not sure, but it sounded very moral, didn't it?"

Calvin rolled his eyes. "Yeah, we're taking lessons on morality from a tiger who dumps ketchup on innocent passersby."

"Spoilsport."

Hobbes left the table, discreetly removed his perception filter and sauntered over to the two females, unaware of the envious look Grandfather was sending from his cage. He bowed gentlemanly to them. "Good evening, ma'am," he said, smiling politely to them. "I was wondering if perhaps you would be willing to join my friends and me for a club soda and a can of tuna fish."

The aliens looked up at him in surprise, taking in his strange form in confusion before quietly admitting to themselves that he wasn't unattractive. They couldn't help but giggle a bit at his forwardness.

Grandfather peeked out from his cage to get another look at the attractive women. Once again surging with jealousy, he felt it his duty to speak up. "I'm sorry, ladies!" he called from the table. "I can't allow you to fraternize with the prisoners!"

All eyes swung around to look at him in shock.

"Prisoners?!" one of the aliens gasped.

"Prisoners?!" Calvin, Hobbes, Andy, Sherman and Socrates gasped.

"Typical convicts in transit to the Transdimensional Penal Establishment on Adelphi Twelve," Grandfather said coolly. "Dangerous manipulative creatures."

"What?!" Hobbes cried.

Grandfather leaned all the way out of his cage. "Quiet, you miserable bunch, or I'll take my truncheon to your thick skulls!" He pointed at Andy. "That one's the worst! If you don't keep him on a steady diet of sleeping pills, he goes berserk and slaughters whole neighborhoods!"

Andy opened his mouth in protest, but Grandfather had anticipated this and tossed a hamster pellet from his food dish across the room and into the boy's mouth, causing him to choke on it and his words.

"His time's coming for one of his fits! Run, ladies! Run to the safety of your distant futures!"

The two female aliens wasted no time in running away. Unfortunately, they decided they wanted to teach the 'prisoners' a thing or two, so they also wasted no time in running _over _Hobbes, knocking him to the ground and stepping on him as they fled. Everyone watched them leave in stunned silence.

Andy managed to swallow down the hamster pellet – much to his disgust – and spluttered in Grandfather's direction. "What'd you do _that _for?!"

The elderly hamster just looked innocent. "Couldn't let you lads loose on impressionable young ladies like that. It was my duty to protect them from convicts like you."

"We're not convicts," Calvin protested. "We're falsely accused heroes on the run from intergalactic law! There's a difference!"

Hobbes got to his feet and dusted himself off. "I say the old man's more trouble than he's worth."

"He's the worst kind of hamster," Sherman agreed.

"Yeah, the usual kind," Socrates added.

"We can put him back in the compartment," Andy suggested.

Grandfather just glared at him with that special glare he seemed to have made just for him. It made Andy shrink back uncomfortably.

"I got him," Calvin said easily, grabbing the cage by the handle and hoisting it up. "Hobbes, get me one of those alien burgers I heard about. No mayo. I'll be back in a few."

"Check," Hobbes said, heading for the counter.

Calvin left his friends and carried Grandfather's cage back to the compartment. The old hamster was suspiciously quiet the whole way, but Calvin threw him a few glances along the way, and he didn't seem to be up to anything.

They arrived back at the compartment without incident. When they got there, they found Galaxoid and Nebular sitting in two seats nearest the window, which was now open again. The irritable passenger with the reading device was still there as well, and he was clearly irritated by the extra company. His glare only increased when he saw Calvin.

Calvin simply looked back at him, smiling away. Galaxoid was falling asleep as he gazed out the window, and Nebular was reading some sort of intergalactic gossip magazine. With them occupied, Calvin set Grandfather's cage down in the seat next to his and locked his gaze with the arrogant alien across from him. They stared at each other for a long time, but Calvin managed to do it without even blinking. After about a minute of this, the creature finally gave into the uncomfortableness and shut down his device, which Calvin now noted had a scratch on the back. He gave an angry snort, jerked to his three feet and retrieved his briefcase, sticking his nose up as high as he could to keep his sense of superiority intact.

Hiding his triumphant smile, Calvin set Grandfather down on the seat directly next to Galaxoid and Nebular. "Stay," he said firmly, before turning his attention to the two little aliens sitting next to him. "Watch him," he said just as firmly.

Calvin turned and left the compartment, making sure the door closed behind him. Galaxoid returned to watching the universe while Nebular returned to reading up on who was dating who during the next couple of days. Grandfather glared at them and set to work with his newly obtained photo.

That was the last thing Galaxoid could remember when he woke up again. He jolted awake and checked his watch. It had been nearly half an Earth hour. He glanced around the compartment. The Earthlings still weren't back, but Nebular was still reading his magazine, and the cage was still next to him, so he figured everything was fine.

Still, he couldn't shake the feeling that something was missing. He glanced around, trying to determine just could possibly be amiss, but nothing obvious jumped out at him. He looked around the whole room, rubbing the sleep from his eye, and then, he noticed the cage again. Grandfather was supposed to still be in it, but he noticed something that made him uneasy.

The photo that he'd given him earlier was against the side of the cage facing him, obscuring his view of the interior. Dreading what he would find, he leaned forward and peered through the bars. It was empty. The picture had hidden this from view, allowing him to escape. How he'd done it was something of a mystery, but the sawdust at the bottom of the cage was too shallow for him to have adequately buried himself.

"Where'd he go?" he asked.

Nebular didn't look up. "Where'd who go?"

"Grandfather!"

His friend shrugged. "I didn't notice. Must've gone out."

"But… how? Did the door open?"

"I'm reading."

Sighing with frustration, Galaxoid got up from the seat and slapped the door control. It hissed open, and he looked up and down the corridor frantically, but there was no sign of the geriatric rodent.

He didn't realize it, but Grandfather hadn't left the room at all. He was hiding under the seat nearest the door, and now that it was open, he was able to quietly scurry past. He waited for the panicked alien to slip back inside before he hurried down the corridor to have a bit of fun. He rounded the corner just as the footsteps over his fellow passengers came from the opposite direction.

Calvin, Hobbes, Andy, Sherman and Socrates were all munching on their lunch as they returned. They were just tossing their trash down an appropriate receptacle when the door to the compartment slid open again. Galaxoid and Nebular came running out, but they skidded to a halt when they saw their friends standing right in front of them.

"Oh!" Galaxoid yelped. "Fancy meeting you here!"

"They look guilty," Hobbes observed.

"Obviously troublemakers," Socrates agreed.

"What's with you two?" Calvin demanded.

Galaxoid looked awkward. "Er… have you seen Sherman's grandfather?"

"Of course," Socrates said brightly. "I've concealed him inside my invisible box."

"No, really!" Galaxoid snapped. "He got out of his cage!"

Sherman appeared on top of Andy's head, glaring straight at him. "You've _lost _him?!"

"That is a vicious slander!"

"You have! You've lost him!"

"He tricked us! I swear!" Nebular exclaimed. "He pulled a Shawshank on us!"

Sherman took a few impressive leaps from Andy's head to Calvin's head to Galaxoid's head, digging his tiny claws into the fabric of his tall pointy hat and glaring down into his single eye. "If you've lost him, I'll tie your stubby little tentacles in knots!"

"He can't have got far with his stubby little legs," Calvin said reassuringly, only to earn an annoyed glare from Sherman as he continued to cling to the hat with his stubby little legs.

"Can't you use your MTM device to locate him?" Nebular asked.

Calvin shook his head. "I didn't bring him with me. He's back at home covering for me with my parents."

"You didn't simply duplicate yourself like you usually do?"

"I've come to realize that any extra versions of me tend to make things more complicated than they already are. Besides, it would've had the same life signs as me."

"What say we split up and look for him?" Hobbes suggested helpfully.

"Good idea," Calvin said. "You and Socrates go that way. Andy and I will go the other way. Galaxoid and Nebular – check on the next floor. Sherman – stay here in case he comes back."

"Find him," Sherman replied firmly, finally crawling down from Galaxoid's face. He scurried into the compartment and sat down in the seat.

The others scattered throughout the ship to look for Grandfather. It was a large ship with many floors and many more compartments for them to look inside of. It would be a long job.

* * *

Calvin couldn't help but notice that Andy looked a bit depressed. "What's eating you?"

"It's his grandfather. I can tell he doesn't like me."

"Why not?"

"Haven't a clue. But you've seen the way he glares at me like I'm walking cesspit in a rose garden."

Calvin shrugged. "I never pegged you for inferiority complex."

They said no more as they continued along, peeking into the various compartments. They knew the odds of finding a tiny hamster just by looking through windows were not very good, but they didn't want to tick off the wrong crowd. They continued along, silent and stalking.

Along the way, Andy accidentally locked eyes with one of the passengers. It was a creature who looked almost human, save for her third eye. Still, all three eyes were lovely. She looked at him through the glass, and she seemed to perk upon seeing him. She might have been his age, but you could never tell with alien species.

Andy found himself frozen in fear. He didn't know what to say or do. The perception filter around his neck was supposed to make him less noticeable, unless he drew attention to himself. By staying in one spot too long and opening gawking, he had most likely given himself away.

She smiled and sat up a little straighter. She beckoned him with one finger, signaling that she would welcome him entering the compartment.

Andy was so transfixed he didn't notice Calvin watching him with fascination. "You're not going in, are you?" he asked, jolting his friend out of his reverie.

The older boy genuinely considered it for a few moments before he shook his head. "Inter-species dating is frowned upon where we come from," he said sadly. "Besides, she'd only reject me in the end."

Calvin felt a twinge of sympathy for him, in spite of his open dislike of the female gender. "Take a shot," he encouraged. "The worst she can do is go insane, lay her eggs in your chest and spit down your open neck."

"Don't try to cheer me up."

Andy blew the alien lovely a kiss and carried on before he could see the disappointment on her face. Story of his life. Sure, he was only eight, but sometimes he wondered what it would be like… He shook his head to clear himself of those thoughts and walked up the corridor, Calvin trailing behind him.

* * *

In the opposite direction, Hobbes and Socrates were meandering along, peeking into various rooms and trying to spot the hamster. They had a superior sense of smell, so maybe they'd have better luck. The problem was that everything on this ship smelled so different and alien that they couldn't really make out anything familiar.

Then, Hobbes happened across the compartment that held the two female aliens from earlier. They were chatting animatedly about something or other. No doubt about their brief brush with a bunch of "convicts". Although worried about what would happen if they saw him, he figured some familiar faces would be a bit more helpful in such a time. Maybe they knew more about the layout of the ship.

Deciding to take a chance, he pushed the button that opened the door and tentatively entered the room. "Excuse me, ladies," he said politely.

Right away, the two ladies scooted back in fear, clearly still believing the pack of lies Grandfather had fed them.

Hobbes held up his paws pleadingly. "Please, listen. We need help finding someone…"

Already, one of them was reaching for something heavy to hit him with.

Socrates saw this right away and knew there was only one way to salvage the situation. He pushed past Hobbes into the room and dropped to his knees, keeping his hands close together as if handcuffed.

"Saints preserve us, we've escaped our warden!" he exclaimed in a bad Irish accent. "I say, me lassies – you wouldn't happen to have a nail file on you, would you? These handcuffs are killing me!"

The two of them froze in shock, too startled to do much of anything at the moment due to the strangeness of this tiger's behavior.

"Oh, sweet freedom! I tell you, it's such a relief to be able to walk and sing and prance and skip and do all those wonderful things you can only do when you're free! Still can't scratch, though. Cuffed together like this. Such an inconvenience, I tell you!"

They were still in shock, so he kept going.

"And to find myself staring down two visions of loveliness like this! I'm overcome! My heart soars at your image! The pair of you could drive a man insane! Imagine what you'll do to a tiger like _me_!" He leaned in closer. "Come on, lassies! Try and guess what I'm in for!"

They gasped in response.

Hobbes finally regained his sensibilities and looped his arms under Socrates, dragging the deranged feline out of the compartment. "Sorry for disturbing you!" he called as he made it into the corridor.

Socrates was never one to depart without a parting quip. "Jaywalking with intent to speed!" he bellowed, and they both tumbled out into the hall.

Hobbes managed to kick the button with his foot, and the door slid shut again, giving them a chance to get to their feet and escape.

"And _that _is how you talk to women!" Socrates said triumphantly.

* * *

The two groups reunited on the next floor. They were just meeting up when they noticed one compartment had the blinds drawn over the door window. What really made it stand out was the maître de bringing in a bottle of chilled champagne. He opened the door and disappeared inside.

"Think we should look in there?" Calvin asked.

Hobbes shook his head. "Nahh, it's probably a honeymoon couple."

"Then let's think of it as a learning experience," Socrates suggested.

"How so?"

"Well, we'll finally learn what a honeymoon is for," Calvin said, already walking towards the door.

They waited until the door opened, and the waiter tapped a code into the keypad to close and lock it. After he walked away, Calvin went over and pressed the same code into the door. He smiled in satisfaction as it opened, and he poked his head inside. Hobbes, Andy and Socrates all joined him.

Grandfather was reclining comfortably on the chair, leaning back against a pillow that was five times bigger than he was. His tiny little paw was in the much-bigger-yet-still-slender hand of an attractive-looking female alien with green skin, yellow eyes and styled purple hair.

He looked up at them, completely unabashed, and he beckoned them in with his other paw, which currently held a tiny glass of champagne.

"Congratulate me, boys! I'm engaged!"

Four mouths fell open in shock. "Oh, crud," Calvin said sadly.

"Ohhh, no," Andy said, stepping forward with the intention of snatching the older hamster up. "We're not doing this. No way. No how."

Hobbes scanned all the food and champagne in the room. "How'd you pay for all of this?"

Grandfather waved him off as he downed his champagne in a single gulp. "Not to worry. It's all on the slate."

"Oh, good. Then you won't mind…" He reached over and popped a piece of shrimp in his mouth.

"Engaged?!" Andy exclaimed.

"Young man," the older alien said firmly. "Moderate your tone when you address my fiancé."

"Wow, she's going along with it and everything," Socrates murmured. "Shall we checks for signs of mind control?"

"Now wait a minute, ma'am," Andy said, trying stay civil. "You don't understand. He's…"

"You're Andy, aren't you?"

"Er… yes."

She looked at him with pure hatred. "He was right. You _look _like a hardened criminal."

Andy gasped in shock. "I _what_?!"

She responded by taking a nearby handbag and whacking the poor boy over the head. He winced in pain, which thrilled her to no end, so she whacked him over the head again.

Calvin, Hobbes and Socrates watched in silent wonder. "He's got a lot of nerve facing her," Calvin remarked.

"Very cool hand," Hobbes agreed.

She continued attacking until Andy finally managed to grab the bag. He then pointed at Grandfather with it. "I _knew _you didn't like me! Sullying my good name like that! I'm the _nice _one in this group! _They're _the jerks!"

Calvin, Hobbes and Socrates all gasped in affronted shock, placing their hands over their chests. Technically, it was true. Andy _was _the nice one, but then again, the nice one typically doesn't say this out loud when they're in the room.

Andy was too angry to care. He turned and stalked out of the room. Unfortunately, he took the lady's bag with him.

"Thief!" she screamed. "He's stealing my bag!"

Andy finally registered that it was still in his hand, and he screeched to a halt. To make matters worse, a guard had heard the scream and was heading in his direction. "Whoops," he muttered.

Thankfully, Galaxoid and Nebular were coming from the opposite direction. They had also heard the noise and knew something had to be done to tranquilize the situation.

All the same, as far as Andy was concerned, he'd just rather have stayed home and faced the bounty hunters.


	4. The Hotel

**Author's Note: **_So... that took a little longer than I expected. Apologies for the delay. I had summer school all June - got to get those hours - and it just burned me out. Very stressful class when three months of material is crammed into one. Left me exhausted. But it's over now, and I've finally managed to churn out this chapter. Enjoy!_

* * *

The Bounty Shuttle was a large battle cruiser that sliced across the bleakness of space, somehow managing to make it look even bleaker than before. It was a large ship with gun turrets around the front and large crystallized star drives on either side. It was enough to make anyone turn and run for their mothers.

Inside was a large grimy cockpit, filled with the latest in criminal-hunting technology. DNA scanners, oxygen analyzers and the like were downloaded into the computers, and the handheld weapons were full of the most modern retrieval devices, including a boomerang net that never worked when it was important.

The Captain, known as Dracip, passed around his captain's chair, checking over the shoulders of his various subordinates. "Have we got a trace?"

"Possible location," said his number one. "Seems they're traveling through space towards the space sport in the _Snagglefrumping Sector_."

"I see… Take us there, helmsman. We'll intercept them ahead of their landing."

"Aye, Captain."

The ship zoomed in the direction of the spaceport.

* * *

The next spaceport was much larger than the first one. It was several hundred stories high, floating in space as several star liners and shuttles zoomed in and out of it. It was a beautiful vision for anyone who was privileged to see it.

Unfortunately, our heroes were _not _seeing it. All they could see was darkness in their very confined space. If they'd thought the compartment was small, _this _was just downright cramped. They were all pressed together, waiting impatiently for a chance to stretch the various kinks they were developing. Attempts at conversation had fallen a bit flat in the circumstances. Things were intimate enough as it was.

Imagine their relief when the compartment door opened, and they saw Galaxoid and Nebular peering down at them from the corridor. "Okay, we need to get going," Galaxoid said quickly. "We've got a shuttlecraft waiting for us. We just need to get across to the big green shuttle waiting across the platform. We can slip into it and zip away to the Frishnig System."

Calvin blinked through the fluorescent light. "Shuttle waiting. Got it," he grunted, making to climb out.

"Now wait a minute!" Grandfather snapped. "Who says you're getting out first? Respect for the elderly!"

"Oh, hush," grunted Sherman. "You're lucky we didn't flush you into space."

Calvin ignored them and climbed out of the baggage compartment and into the corridor. Hobbes and Socrates crawled out next, followed by Andy, who had Sherman in his shirt pocket and Grandfather in his cage with a heavy-duty padlock on it now.

"Come on," Nebular said. "This way to the exit hatch."

They stumbled along the corridor, hoping they weren't found. Although they were onboard legally, after all the trouble they'd been in, they weren't eager to be confronted by an annoyed guard or some similar sort of authority.

Galaxoid threw a glance out the nearest porthole to see what the situation was. They hadn't quite docked yet, so they were still in motion. The perpetual nighttime of the spaceport was a romantic poet's dream, with neon lights dancing off each other against the twinkling stars in the background. It did his heart good to see such a serene scene.

Then, he saw something that made his heart sink back to its previous pessimistic level and then some. It was a large battle cruiser slinking into port, coming to a gentle stop at one of the terminals. The hatch door slid open, and out stepped five reptilian creatures in uniform with weapons that were enough to make any decent citizen request a restroom break.

They were here. Those creatures that were searching for the Earth Potentate were here. They were sniffing around, pushing various passengers aside and holding up scanning equipment, clearly trying to locate their prey.

Galaxoid swallowed heavily. "They're here…," he whispered.

"Who's here?" Hobbes asked.

"The bounty hunters are _here_! They're practically surging through the spaceport."

"Then let's just surge right back at them!" Socrates declared, holding up his fists like a boxer. "Lemme surge 'em! Lemme surge 'em, guys!"

"We most certainly will not!" Galaxoid snapped, holding him back.

Socrates pouted. "Killjoy."

"How'd they even find us?" Calvin demanded.

"They've been tracking us. But don't worry."

"Worrying actually sounds pretty good right now," Andy said.

"We can get past them," Nebular said. "As long as the shuttlecraft we ordered gets here on time, we'll be set. We just need to sprint across the platform to the shuttle."

They looked out the porthole for any sign of the shuttle, but all they could see, as their ship ground to a halt, was the team of bounty hunters harassing the staff and various patrons with questions, holding up the posters with their faces on them.

Andy filled in the voice. "Have you seen these four dangerous individuals and their eight-year-old driver?"

"Let it go," Sherman sighed.

At that moment, the most dreadful thing happened. The bounty hunters were heading straight for the ship. They strode up the gangplank that would let the passengers off. They flashed their badges at the ship's personnel and stormed onboard.

"They'll be here any minute," Calvin gulped. "Anyone have any suggestions?"

"Give yourselves up. You had a good run," Grandfather said in a tone laced with false kindness.

"Stow it, you. We're not fossils yet," Socrates growled.

Hobbes threw a glance over his shoulder at the baggage chute behind them. An idea set up camp in his fuzzy noggin and compelled him to reach over and open it. "Okay!" he announced. "All ashore that's going ashore!"

Immediately tagging onto his idea, the others started chucking their luggage down the chute, and then Andy, carrying the hamster cage, dove in as well.

Galaxoid and Nebular goggled in horror. "No, wait! We can't - !"

Socrates grabbed them both and effortlessly chucked them down the chute, listening to their screams all the way down. He dove in after them. Hobbes helped Calvin up into the chute, and then he dove inside, slamming the door shut behind him just as a bunch of bounty hunters thundered through the corridor with their trackers.

"They've gone down there!" the one with the really big tracker exclaimed.

"How do we get down there?" another asked.

The leader growled. "I know where they're going."

* * *

Our heroes landed in a heap atop their luggage, not to mention each other. They staggered upright and looked around for a possible escape.

Galaxoid was fretting already. "We can't possibly hide in here! We'll miss our shuttlecraft! We'll have to ride the ship all the way to the next space port!"

"Nonsense!" Calvin snorted. "Just a matter of finding the exit!"

Their would-be planning session was interrupted by the arrival of a giant claw that came down from above and snatched up a large piece of luggage. It took it up and across to the large conveyor belt that took it and several other bags up to a large tunnel in the wall.

"… Found it," Nebular announced.

The claw was already coming back to pick up its next bag. The group ran as fast as they could to keep up with it. It suddenly descended upon someone's large briefcase, and they made a mad grab for it. With the hamster cage and a few bags wrapped around his legs, Andy managed to grab hold of it, and he grasped tightly as it took him across the room and to the conveyor belt. It dropped him, Sherman and Grandfather with a thud and carried them away.

The others prepared for another mad dash as the claw rapidly returned and prepared to descend again. With a well-timed pounce, Hobbes managed to grab hold of it and grasped the metal prongs as they in turn grasped a bag of golf clubs. Galaxoid and Nebular both made a desperate grab for it as it rose, and they both managed to nab the golf bag. Regrettably, Nebular accidentally grabbed the golf clubs, and they slid loose, causing him to plummet back to the ground with Calvin and Socrates, briefly raining heavy metal golf clubs on them.

Hobbes and Galaxoid were dumped on the conveyor belt with the now-empty bag, and they disappeared into the tunnel.

"Okay, gotta make this one count," Calvin murmured, locking his eyes on the claw.

Socrates looked around quickly, trying to determine which bag would be taken next so he could already be there when the claw arrived. Trusting his instincts, he ran over to a duffel bag, dragging Calvin and Nebular behind him. The claw returned and proceeded to descend on them, grasping them in its grasp instead of the bag, and they were comfortably lifted up and onto the conveyor belt, following their friends out of the ship.

"How'd you know that would happen?" Calvin demanded.

"I got mad tiger skillz," Socrates replied as if it were obvious.

The belt carried them all the way up through the bowels of the ship before they saw the fluorescent light of the space port platform. They continued their climb until they reached the end and landed in a pile of luggage. Luckily, the others were already there, and they reached down to pull them onto their feet and tentacles.

Galaxoid had already scanned the platform and saw what he was looking for. The shuttlecraft awaited on the opposite side like a golden chariot. "Quick! This way!" he ordered.

Regrettably, just as they were starting to move, they came face to face with the side of another shuttlecraft, and then another, followed by five more. Seven more shuttlecrafts, all in formation, came in for a landing, creating a barricade between them and their transport.

"Oh, no!" Galaxoid wailed, feeling his heart sink once again.

To make matters worse, the bounty hunters had just exited the ship and had spotted them. "There!" one of them shouting, pointing with a long hair finger in the group's direction. The thugs-for-hire bounded down the ramp, trying to get to the gang before they escaped.

Fortunately, Calvin's determination was a force to be reckoned with. "All right, lads! Follow me!" he ordered, and with considerable speed, he took off for the line of shuttlecrafts. Hobbes grabbed the bags and immediately followed him. Socrates and Andy grabbed the rest of the luggage and hightailed it, followed by Galaxoid and Nebular.

Calvin made it to the center shuttlecraft and immediately forced the door open, stumbled through the small passenger area before forcing the opposite door into a similar open position, providing an exit for the group to use in order to reach their escape. Hobbes crawled through next, followed by Andy, Socrates, Galaxoid and Nebular.

The drivers watched them stumble through in stupefied silence.

The shuttlecraft was still sitting there, waiting for them. Calvin forced this door open as well, scrambling inside.

Dracip and his officers made it to the shuttlecraft, but they were much bigger and bulkier than our heroes, so they stuck fast when they made it to the door. Frustrated, the ones stuck behind couldn't bear to wait, so they started forcing their way through the other shuttlecrafts as well.

Hobbes, Andy, Socrates, Galaxoid and Nebular hurled all their bags into the shuttle and scrambled inside. Galaxoid was the last one in, and his turned around to shut the door, he saw Dracip had forced his way through the shuttle of his choice and was stumbling in his direction. With a yelp, the little alien slammed the door and fell over as the bulky bounty hunter collided with their ship.

The startled driver looked over his shoulder in fear. "I better get extra for this," he whimpered.

"Drive!" everyone shouted in return.

Agreeing that this was for the best, the driver forgot his monetary needs and initiated launching procedure as fast as he could. With a great deal of wobbling, the ship took to the air, rising above the frazzled bounty hunters before they got their wits back, and it zoomed out of the space port, making it to the relative safety of space.

Dracip was surrounded by his officers, all of them staring up at the shuttlecraft as it became but a speck in the night sky. He glared up at it with mounting fury. "So that's how you want to play it…," he said in a deep growl.

* * *

Hours later, Calvin was sprawled on the extra-soft purple couch in their hotel room. The place was beautiful. Galaxoid and Nebular had spared no expense. The living room was very plush, with doors that connected to various hallways that took them to bedrooms and bathrooms. The others were off somewhere, putting their things away. The only one still with him was Hobbes. The two friends had shared a room for so long now they were very much used to being together all the time.

Hobbes was sitting in the corner tinkling on a piano. He had no rhythm whatsoever, but he was content to play it nonetheless. The room was luxurious and stressful at the same time. Luxurious because of how relaxing it was, with nothing to do or anywhere to go. Stressful for the same reason. It was as if their room was cut off from the rest of the world, surrounded by cotton balls and dunked in a vat of thick vanilla pudding. There was the dull throb of traffic outside, but it was soothing instead of intrusive.

Calvin saw a bowl on the table full of alien fruit. Picking out one that looked vaguely edible, he took a bite. The tangy flavor danced across his taste buds in a pleasing way, and he settled back onto the couch in appreciation. He was a naturally picky eater, but there was still a part of him that was interested in strange and new foods. Unlike the strange green slime his mother cooked all the time – no matter she cooked, it always came out as green slime – this stuff had an aesthetic quality that drew him to it. Such a rich texture that he couldn't help but be intrigued.

Hobbes finished tinkling on the piano and got down on the floor, walking along like an actual tiger would – which he was, in case you'd forgotten. He sniffed around the room, taking in all the odors. His sense of smell was greater than that of a human's, so he was much more akin to absorbing his surroundings through his olfactory senses.

The two friends had rarely any time to themselves these days. So much stuff was happening in their lives that they hardly had time for goofing off and enjoying peace and quiet. While they liked to act like running from morally dubious beings from other worlds was fun and exhilarating, there were times when they felt they were more vulnerable than ever. Now, with their faces plastered all over the galaxy as these bounty hunters sought them out, Calvin and Hobbes found themselves in hiding. Sure, they were hiding in a luxurious hotel, but now they were trapped inside it.

A gilded cage was still a cage, after all.

Calvin was musing on all of this as he watched his friend stalk the room. Realizing he was sounding a little too mature for his liking, he found his voice. "Fruit?" he asked, holding a piece out for Hobbes.

Hobbes sniffed the air, taking in the aroma of the fruit. He was a carnivore. He wanted something meaty. "No, thanks," he replied without looking up, still crouching around.

Calvin sighed. He finished the fruit and sat up. "Hobbes, I'm bored!" he whined.

"I know," his friend replied, still sniffing around. "I'm bored, too."

"Can't we do something fun?"

"I think this place is too fancy for fun."

"Fancy people _must _do something for fun! Don't they have water balloon fights or play in the mud?"

Hobbes looked around. "I don't see any mud."

"That was just an example! Can't we do _something _interesting?"

The tiger looked at his friend before smirking deviously, in that way that Calvin absolutely hated.

"Hobbes…?"

Once again reminded that his friend was a carnivore, he began to back away as the jungle cat began to creep towards him with narrow eyes, both playful and scheming. His tail flicked back and forth.

Taking that as his cue, Calvin turned and jumped over the couch just as Hobbes pounced at him. The tiger rebounded off the wall and headed back towards him. They were soon running around in circles, one trying to outrun the other.

They were so busy with this activity that they didn't notice Grandfather enter. He walked through the half-open door and watched them for a moment before electing to ignore them and head for the nearby window. He crawled up onto the windowsill and peered outside at the alien city below. He didn't want to be trapped in here with these ninnies. He wanted to be out there, partying it up and enjoying himself. For him, the night was still young.

His spirits were further squashed by the arrival of Andy, Sherman and Socrates. They too ignored their friends trying to kill each other, for the three of them were in a heated debate.

"I do _not _snore!" Andy snapped irritably.

"Do, too," Socrates replied.

"Do not!"

"Do, too!"

"Shermie, do I snore?"

The genius hamster leapt from his friend's shoulder to the comfy couch, aware that his answer would cause displeasure. "We share a room. Why do you think I put a force field around my cage every night?"

Grandfather looked up from his window-gazing. "Now, Shermie – don't mock the afflicted."

Sherman rolled his eyes. "I was just kidding."

"Kid all you want. He's the one who has to live with it. He can't help it if his nasal passages are clogged to the point he can barely draw in a single breath. His flawed human biology has riddled him with so many imperfection, I should think a little thing like snoring should be more forgivable."

"I don't snore!" Andy thundered, clearly riled up.

Just as Hobbes had Calvin dangling from the light fixture over their fireplace, swiping at him from below, the door swung open, and Galaxoid came in carrying an armload of envelopes. "Okay, everyone. Time to go to work."

Calvin pouted as he continued to dangle. "Aww, come on, Galaxoid! We're having fun at long last!"

"What is all this?" Socrates asked, taking one of the envelopes that had his name on it.

"Ohh, hate mail, death threats, general nastiness," Galaxoid said, dumping the mail in a heap on the floor.

"From who?!" Hobbes asked, looking alarmed as he allowed Calvin to drop to the floor once more.

"Word of your bounty has reached the far edges of the galaxy. One of the downsides of all this fame is that you're going to get a lot of very strange mail."

Sherman picked up one of the envelopes that had his own name on it. "Ignoring the fact that we're all thoroughly creeped out by this – because that _should _go without saying – they use _paper _and _envelopes _to send mail?"

Nebular was just coming into the room and caught the question. "The Universal Postal Service is a bit more together," he explained. "Shall I just sort it for you?"

Everyone stared at the gigantic mound. "That might take several ice ages," Calvin said, looking disturbed by the idea.

Nebular held up a remote control and aimed it at the pile. With the press of a button, the envelopes began to fling themselves at the feet of their recipients. The five earthlings watched in amazement as they each acquired their mail. In a matter of seconds there were four small mounds of mail for Calvin, Hobbes, Socrates and Sherman, each one nicely stacked.

Andy, however, looked down at the single envelope at his feet, looking very disappointed. "Is that it?" he demanded.

Nebular shrugged. "Looks like it. Sorry."

"This isn't fair! Even the haters don't care about me!"

"Maybe they heard you snore," Grandfather muttered.

"How'd the mail get sent to us anyway?" Hobbes asked. "I thought we were hiding here."

"Universal Mail _always _finds its owner," Galaxoid replied. "Special homing patterns lock onto your respective brain waves."

"So what do we do with all of this?" Calvin asked. "Toss 'em in the fireplace?"

"No, they need to be answered."

"Why? It's hate mail."

"If they stay here, they can be used as tracking devices," Nebular explained. "The Bounty Hunters can use the signal. They need to be responded to and sent back _tonight _if we want to avoid them finding us."

Everyone stared at the piles of letters incredulously. "You've got to be kidding me!" Socrates whined.

Andy, meanwhile, was picking up his solitary envelope and opening it. He skimmed it in confusion. "Who the heck is Boyd and why am I invited to his club?"

Calvin reached over and grabbed the note as everyone gathered around. Even Grandfather got down from the window to look at it.

"Says here these guys are inviting you to their club. It's a gambling den. Champagne, caviar, free buffet, formal attire, the whole nine yards."

"And they want me?" Andy asked, incredulous.

"Big spender," Hobbes remarked.

"Are you sure that wasn't for me?" Socrates asked, reaching for the letter. "I'm the rich one."

"Doesn't matter," Galaxoid said, snatching the invitation away. "You're not going. Out of the question."

Andy looked a bit disappointed in having the decision taken from him. "Aw, come on."

Grandfather made it to the invitation and snatched it away. "No, lad, he's right," he said sternly. "These places would swindle you for every cent you owned. All that champagne, fancy food, sandwiches, women with loose morals… It's disgusting, I tell you. The precise reason this universe is going down the tubes!" Halfway through his rant, he rolled up the invitation and slipped it away somewhere.

"Hey, that's mine," Andy protested.

"Come on, hurry up," Galaxoid said urgently. "Unless you want those brutes coming down here and dragging you away, I want you to stay in this room and get to work."

Knowing that a possible mutiny was going to arise any second now from his authority, Galaxoid thought it necessary to grab Nebular and drag him away before the earthlings had a chance to voice their displeasure. With the task set for them, the two aliens turned and left the room.

Calvin, Hobbes, Andy, Sherman and Socrates looked at the piles of letters. Andy was still pouting. Sure, it might seem nice to know that he didn't have hate mail duty like the others, but part of him felt left out. He felt small and insignificant while the others were getting all the publicity.

Socrates looked his letters over. "… Anybody got a pen?" he asked.

Hobbes opened one of his and scanned the contents. He let out a low whistle, impressed by what he was reading. "Good grief," he murmured. "Even translated to English, this is still ridiculously silly."

Sherman looked at one of his own. He was impressed by the technology on the sheet of paper. "Looks like some sort of digital letter," he said. "There are little buttons on the bottom corner of the paper. You can hear the letter read out loud and then record an audible response."

Socrates scratched his chin. "I wonder if Bill Gates would corner this market…"

Calvin, however, picked up all his letters and set them down on the table. Then, he proceeded towards the door.

"Where are you going?" Hobbes asked.

"While the aliens are away, the earthlings shall play," he replied with a shrug, opening the drawer where he had stashed the perception filters. He passed out all five and headed for the door. "Let's hightail it."

The others agreed. Although they knew they were on the run, they needed to get out for a bit and relax, let off some steam. They needed to relieve this cabin fever for a bit and take in the sights.

Grandfather watched as they made their way to the door. "What about the hate mail?"

_"You_ read 'em!" they all chorused back before disappearing into the night.

Grandfather smirked before pulling out the invitation. He had other ideas. He was going to make use of it and see who this Boyd fella was. Still, he didn't know where he would acquire any "formal attire". He didn't think they made little suits in his size.

There was a knock at the door. He slipped the invitation away again, but it was only a waiter. What took Grandfather by surprise was the appearance of the waiter. He was tiny fella, apparently rodent in species.

"I'm here to clear up, sir," he said in a voice that had a faint accent.

"Er… yes," Grandfather agreed, backing away to give him room to work.

As the waiter set to clearing away the mess the boys had made, Grandfather shadowed him, trying to get an idea as to this fellow's measurements. He began to smirk again as they seemed to be the same as his…


	5. The Boyd's Club

The club they'd found was only down the street from the hotel, so they didn't have to go far for entertainment and relaxation. Calvin led the gang through the door towards an empty booth, with the perception filters keeping them from being noticed. Oh, they got a few nods and brief acknowledgements, but no one knew who they were or that they were on the run.

They sat down at the booth and laid back, getting comfortable. The music was strange and distorted, but not unpleasant. They bobbed their heads and tapped their feet in time with the bass notes, looking around for signs of anything interesting going on. It was surprisingly easy to get snacks. They just grabbed some plates and grabbed whatever looked good from a nearby table.

"Fascinating cuisine," Socrates mused, loading his plate to the brim. "These aliens sure know how to flambé."

A large ball of flame erupted from a nearby grill, startling them. "I hope they know how to treat third degree burns," Hobbes added nervously.

They took their plates and sat down at the table again. They sampled the food and nodded in approval. "I wonder if I can get the recipe for Mom to try," Calvin mused. "Anything's better than that freakish green slop she keeps making."

They looked around at the dancing aliens, enjoying the music, and they were just getting comfy when a shadow loomed over them. A feline-looking creature was standing before Hobbes with a sultry expression, and she beckoned him with a single finger.

Hobbes grinned and proceeded to get up. "To think it took traversing the cosmos to finally find me some babes," he said with a definite purr. "I'll catch you fellas later." And he was gone.

Calvin glared after his retreating form. "Just see if I don't see you impeached from GROSS for this!" he shouted.

Andy and Sherman watched the crowd with increasing interest. "You think there's anyone here my height?" Sherman asked hopefully.

Calvin groaned. "What is the _deal _with everyone tonight?! We're here to have fun, not fraternize with the weaker sex!"

Socrates just patted him on the head. "You'll understand when you're older."

"Or my age," Andy said, looking around the crowds with great interest.

Calvin slumped bitterly in his seat and ate some of his dinner.

The others just chuckled and looked around. Andy locked eyes with a group of youthful aliens doing some sort of dance that looked almost easy to imitate. After getting a feeling of what the rhythm was, he got up from the table and started to boogey on down with the group, managing to match their style. They smiled and nodded, accepting him into their group and starting a friendly competition as they proceeded to attempt to out-dance each other.

Sherman chuckled at the scene and resumed eating, pleased his friend was finally starting to cheer up.

* * *

The tiny little waiter to whom Grandfather had made his startling suggestion to was sitting in a chair, reading one of the magazines. He was also in his underwear, due entirely to the startling suggestion that had been made. He was just thumbing through the latest gossip the universe had to offer when he heard voices coming from the door, and moments later, the sound of a key card being used. With a yelp, he put the magazine back where he'd found it and made a mad dive for the nearby closet. He got the door to slide shut just as the door opened.

Galaxoid and Nebular entered, and almost immediately, they were disturbed by the sight before them. There were neat stacks of unanswered hate mail cluttering up the place. A few had been opened, but none had been answered. It was enough to make their hearts run cold.

"I knew it!" Galaxoid wailed. "They haven't even started yet! Where are they? Why would they do this?"

"Probably cabin fever," Nebular replied.

"They were only in here for an hour!"

"You know how Calvin's always getting itchy feet."

"Huh?"

"Earth saying. I think."

Galaxoid just slumped. He was so sad that his tall pointed hat drooped. Nebular sighed. If Galaxoid had been angry, he could've dealt with him. An angry Galaxoid was not difficult to handle. But a sad Galaxoid was enough to touch the heart.

"We've only seen one room. We'll look around and see if they left a note or something."

Galaxoid nodded distantly and proceeded to look around. They checked all the sensible places to leave a note – on a desk, a table, a countertop, a sink, the TV – but found nothing. They also looked in ridiculous places to leave a note – in the trash, in the curtains, under the sofa, inside the piano and in the dirt of a potted plant – but they still found nothing.

It wasn't until Nebular finally opened the door to the closet and saw the contents that he did a double-take and closed the door.

"Did one of them pack a tiny little man?" he asked calmly.

Galaxoid blinked. "I don't believe so…"

"Well, there's one hanging in the closet."

They went over to the closet, and Galaxoid opened it to find the waiter dangling from a coat hanger. They helped him down and dragged him out into the living room. "All right, you," Galaxoid snapped. "What are you doing in here?"

"I think he was lurking," Nebular said. "Looks like a lurker to me."

"I'm a waiter, you see…," the little man began.

"You're undressed," Nebular went on needlessly. "Where are your clothes?"

"Oh, er, the old gentleman borrowed them so he could go to the Club."

The two aliens realized at the same time. "He's gone to that Boyd's place!" Galaxoid moaned. "He must've taken Andy's invitation!"

"We've got to find the others and then get after the old hamster," Nebular agreed.

They immediately jumped over the couch and made for the door, leaving the waiter behind. "But what about me?!" he cried.

"You're too old," Nebular replied kindly as he slammed the door and fled.

The waiter was left standing in the room by himself. He looked around, feeling a bit lost before he finally sat back down where he'd been before and getting his magazine back. Nothing much else to do, really, but continue with the gossip and ponder why he didn't finish college.

* * *

The dancing was over, and the food had been eaten. Our heroes leaned back in their seats and enjoyed the calm. There were still quite a few people walking around, some slow-dancing to the quiet music while others were still getting drinks in. A custodian with eight arms was cleaning up and taking care of maintenance.

Sherman checked his watch. "Hate to be a party pooper, but we've been here three hours. Maybe we should start to make tracks."

"Yeah, finish answering that hate mail," Andy agreed.

Calvin nodded sadly. "Yeah, we've fooled around long enough. Probably time to get to it."

With sad sighs, they knew they would have to get back to the hotel before the night was over. Still, they felt better, having finally actually enjoyed themselves. They nodded their goodbyes to the friends they had made and headed out the door into the crisp night air. The sky was beautiful tonight, what with it being a different galaxy and all, so they were content for all of five seconds.

Galaxoid and Nebular came running up just in time to ruin the mood.

"Where've you been?!" Galaxoid demanded.

"Calm down," Calvin said soothingly. "We just went out for a bit."

"You didn't finish the mail, and now the old man's gone!"

Sherman balked. "What, again?!"

"Where'd he go?" Hobbes asked.

"To the Boyd's Club!" Nebular said.

Andy looked put out. "He's gone to my club?"

"Way to get invited to a club that enticed a geriatric hamster, Andrew!" Socrates said accusingly.

"Where's the club?" Sherman demanded. "We've got to find him! Goodness knows what he's going up to in the meantime!"

"Probably handing out his phone number and using your credit card," Andy said dourly.

"The club's on the other end of town," Galaxoid said. "We'll get the car and go fetch him. Come on!"

They ran up the sidewalk to find their shuttle and get the old man back.

* * *

The atmosphere at Boyd's Club was one of the utmost elegant and loud wealth. Plush carpeting from wall to wall, the most comfortable chairs, long tables with neatly arranged mountains of fancy food, and various waiters going around in smart suits with trays. The fancily dressed creatures of various species were surrounding various gambling tables were doing an admirable job of demonstrating how bored they were.

When our heroes arrived on the scene, the doorman saw immediately they were not properly dressed – and in the case of Hobbes, Socrates and Sherman, not dressed at all – and moved swiftly to kick them out with as much discrimination as possible. "I'm sorry, gentlemen – you're not allowed in there. Members and invited guests _only_."

The five of them started talking at once. Andy started with, "Well, I _was _invited…" Hobbes cut in with, "We're really in a hurry…!" Sherman added, "We're here for the old man…!" Calvin put in, "We don't have time to listen to you yakking suited toadies…!" Socrates took on a menacing glare and declared, "Take me to your leader!"

"Enough!" Galaxoid ordered, startling them enough that they all shut up. He turned to the doorman. "We're just looking for an elderly gentleman of the rodent persuasion. Can you check and see if you've got one?"

The doorman briefly looked over his shoulder to see if anyone matched that description. He immediately spotted Grandfather across the gambling area and in the dining room, sitting on a table in a suit and jacket. "Oh, you mean him?"

Grandfather was surrounded by empty plates and champagne bottles. The buttons on his vest strained to hold together as he leaned against the bosom of the attractive blonde alien with the low cut dress. He was whispering sweet nothings in her ear, which required her to bend over to listen, but she didn't mind. Grandfather had already won her heart, all thanks to a winning streak he'd been on over at the gambling table. He'd been grateful for that, otherwise he'd never be able to pay for this meal. Still, he was confident he'd be able to sneak away unnoticed.

At least not until Sherman's eyes locked with his, and his heart dropped.

"Yep, that's him!" Sherman snapped.

"Lord Hamster of Sol III?"

"Lord Ham - ?! Look, I'm his grandfather… No, wait, _he's _my…!"

Sherman was so angry he couldn't think straight, so Socrates took it upon himself to push past the doorman and bound across the room, startling the various patrons, who most certainly weren't bored anymore. He posed dramatically in the middle of the room. "Okay, nobody move! Hand over the hamster and nobody gets hurt!"

The blonde looked up at him and gasped. Grandfather merely blinked.

Calvin, Hobbes and Andy shoved past the doorman and followed Socrates. Hobbes pounced across the gambling tables until he came to a smooth stop atop the table. He glared down at the old hamster with great agitation. "Just the heck do you think you're doing?!" he whispered.

Grandfather shrugged. "Seemed a pity to let the invitation go to waste…"

Calvin and Andy caught up, and Sherman jumped down from Andy's shoulder, ran up along Hobbes's back and came to a rest atop his head, glaring at the older hamster angrily. "Right then, old man," he snapped. "_You're _going back to the hotel!" He leapt from Hobbes's nose and tackled him out of the blonde alien's cleavage, and they rolled across the table.

"Get off me!" Grandfather shouted. "Help! I've never seen this ruffian before in my life!"

Everyone watched the two hamsters fighting and hitting each other determinedly. Calvin finally decided to intervene and plug them both up by their necks, but even then, they were still trying to get at each other, so he had to hold them apart at arm's length.

"Very fiery old man, isn't he?" Hobbes whispered.

"He's in great shape," Socrates agreed. "I'd have needed to take a moment to get my breath back."

Calvin carried them still swiping at each other, all the way through the club and back to the front door. He looked up at the surprisingly calm manager. "Okay, we got 'em. Sorry to intrude."

The manager cleared his throat. "There's the small manner of the bill."

Grandfather managed to stop thrashing long enough to look appalled. "The invitation said the champagne buffet is free!"

"_Champagne _is free. The food is _not_. You and your lady friend consumed enough to feed a small village."

Galaxoid finally decided it was time to step in. "Give it here. I'll see to that." He took the bill from the manager and skimmed it. His single eye bulged in shock. "All that? How'd he end up with all that?"

"Remarkable appetite, the old man," the manager said simply.

At that moment, a waiter walked up, carrying a tray with another slip of paper on it for Grandfather. "Excuse me, sir," he announced. "Your winnings."

Galaxoid promptly took the paper and sighed with relief upon reading it. It was slightly more than what was needed to pay the bill. He passed it over to the manager. "Will that just about do it?" he asked hopefully.

The manager nodded and took the paper. "Very good, sir," he said pleasantly. "I'll see to everything."

"What about my change?" Grandfather ventured.

"A generous tip, sir." And with that, he walked away.

Andy smirked at the gaping hamster. "Well, easy come, easy go," he said.

"Okay, we got all that settled," Nebular sighed. "Come on. Let's get back to the hotel."

Calvin passed Sherman back to Andy, and he held onto Grandfather himself. They all grouped together and made their way back to the shuttlecraft waiting outside. Of course, when they got there, they found they wouldn't be travelling anytime soon.

The shuttle had a large clamp on it, keeping it from flying away. Standing around it were five large creatures all wearing official uniforms and holding very large weapons in their grasps. Standing in the center of the group was Dracip, holding a small handheld remote as he towered over them menacingly.

Our heroes froze where they stood. They didn't know how to handle the situation. Did they move or stay?

"How… did they even find us?" Calvin demanded.

Hobbes gulped. "Well… we didn't reply to the hate mail, for a start."

"Oh yeah… Whoops."

Dracip didn't smile as he walked forward. He just looked totally professional as he did his job. "The beings designated as Calvin, Hobbes, Andy, Sherman and Socrates," he said, as if he were reading it from a script. "You are hereby under arrest for various crimes against the sanctity of the universe. Anything you say now may be used at a board of inquiry against you. Attempts to resist arrest shall result in a much harsher sentencing. Will you come quietly?"

They all blinked before looking at each other. None of them really knew what to say.

All except Calvin, who'd been paying close attention to the proceedings, and something about this situation was curious to him. There was only one course of action he could think of that would get him what he wanted. He held up his hands – still holding Grandfather.

"We surrender."

Everyone looked at him in shock.

But Dracip simply nodded in acceptance. No maniacal laughter, no smug gloating – he just did his job. He pressed a button on the remote, and five force fields appeared around our heroes. Each one started out as a fairly large sphere before shrinking down and taking on their physical forms like envelopes, locking them in position – and causing Grandfather to slip out of Calvin's grasp and into Galaxoid and Nebular's grasp instead.

Trapped and frozen, Calvin, Hobbes, Andy, Sherman and Socrates were picked up and carried through the air until they were suddenly teleported away.

Dracip then faced Galaxoid, Nebular and Grandfather. "You have been responsible for harboring and abetting known criminals," he said flatly. "Your punishment is – "

Nebular suddenly spoke up. "We declare an appeal!"

Dracip blinked in surprise before regaining his composure. "You can't appeal on your own case."

"Not ours. Theirs. They're not criminals. They're under bogus charges. And you haven't got any right to take them away. Now that we've put in an appeal, you have to review their case, and since we're listed as accomplices, we're unable to be arrested until the investigation is complete, so the most you can do is keep an eye on us. So there!"

Everyone stared at him in befuddlement, trying to decipher what his game plan was, but none of them could work it out.

Dracip finally spoke. "… Very well. Under Penal Code 25493 stroke B, your appeal has been filed. An investigation into your claims shall be in place. Meanwhile, we shall be keeping tabs on you."

"Thank you!" Nebular said with as sweet a smile as he could muster.

The Bounty Hunters all did some strange salute, and in a split-second, they were gone, teleported back to their ship.

Galaxoid, Nebular and Grandfather were left standing on the street. Two were wondering how they were going to help their friends with the time they had bought, while the other was reflecting he shouldn't have tried the caviar.


	6. The Interrogation

**Author's Note: **_Apologies for the delay. I know I said every two weeks, but it seems I can never get one up before nearly a month has gone by. Still, I'm doing my best, given all that's going on in my life. I'm dedicated to finishing this story and wrapping the storyline it exists in. Which, of course, won't happen with this story. There's still more after this one. I think. Maybe._

_Anyway!_

* * *

The interrogation room was massive and full of chairs and desks. It seemed to the gang that the whole line of questioning about to happen was to be conducted right out there in the open, which seemed extremely odd to them. From what they could remember of old movies and TV shows, interrogations were typically done in the tiny rooms with two-way mirrors and throaty voices demanding answers. This looked more like a classroom.

Calvin, Hobbes, Andy, Sherman and Socrates stood at the back of the room, each wearing a bracelet. They had been informed that these things would keep them from leaving. None of them bothered. They knew Calvin had a plan up his sleeve. He usually did. They didn't know why he'd decided to surrender, especially so early in the adventure.

The only thing he said the entire time they were waiting was, "Honesty. Complete honesty. No fabrications. Clear?"

They'd nodded in reply and didn't utter a word.

At last, the room began to fill with a few aliens, all wearing official uniforms. They surrounded the small desks in small clusters. One group pointed to Calvin and motioned for him to join them. He shrugged at the others and headed in their direction, sitting at the desk. One of the officers pressed a button on his uniform, and a large black force field formed around them, cutting them off from the rest of the room.

The others exchanged glances, and then noticed that each of them were being beckoned by the four others groups around the four other desks. Realizing where this was going, they split off to their individual groups and sat down. Four more spherical force field formed around them.

The interrogations all went roughly the same. They were asked the standard questions.

"Why did you become a psychotic drug lord?"

"Where did you hide the diamonds?"

"How do you print the counterfeit money?"

"How many people have you killed?"

"What's the gas mileage on the getaway car?"

Each of them gave a standard answer.

"I'm not a drug lord."

"I'm not a diamond smuggler."

"I'm not a money launderer."

"I'm not a mass murderer."

"I'm not the dang driver!"

After that, the questions became a bit different.

"Why have you been on the run?"

"Seemed a bit more fun than endangering our home planet," Calvin replied.

"Has all this travel been difficult?"

"Well, the porter lost our luggage," Hobbes said with a shrug.

"Where were you hoping to escape to?"

"I'm partial to Chicago, myself," Socrates said brightly.

"Has life since these charges came about been difficult?"

"Yes," Sherman replied flatly.

"Do you have any known enemies?"

Andy thought for a moment. "I absolutely _hate _Donald Duck."

"Why?"

Andy responded as if it were obvious. "Because Donald Duck hates _me_."

"What's your philosophy of life?"

Socrates shrugged. "I'm somewhere between Zen and wing-it-and-see-what-happens."

"Why hasn't Earth developed a decent space program?"

"Because we're more interested and blowing ourselves up," Calvin replied.

"What're your thoughts on teenage marriage?"

"I think once a marriage becomes a teenager, it should learn to stand on its own two feet," Sherman answered.

"Do you enjoy being on the run?"

"Best thing that ever happened to me, apart from being smooched," Hobbes said with a shrug.

"Are you very close to your family?"

"No, actually, we're just good friends," Andy replied.

"Do you have any known aliases?"

"'Crateso' and 'Hey, you insufferable menace, get off my property!'" Socrates replied.

The interrogator leaned down to look Calvin in the eye. "Why did you surrender?" he asked.

Calvin stopped slouching and popped a crick out of his neck. "Oh, thank goodness. I didn't think we were _ever _going to get to that question…," he sighed thankfully. "I did it because I want answers."

"Answers to _what_ exactly?"

"I want to know who put out a warrant for our arrest."

The interrogator blinked, then he looked over his shoulder at one of the others and nodded. The officer in question pulled out a holographic notepad and scrolled through various pages. After fifteen seconds, he held it up for the interrogator to see.

"Unknown."

Calvin held his head in his hands in despair.

"What's wrong?"

"Well, I thought that if I could just find out who's responsible for all this, I could wrap up these bogus charges."

"You maintain you are falsely accused."

"Yes, I do. I believe that someone put a warrant out for our arrest because they wanted us out of the way."

"There is evidence supporting the charges. Documentation dating back to…"

"Faked, faked!" Calvin interrupted. "How far back have you checked the evidence? How thoroughly has it been examined?"

"According to the files, you've been pedaling drugs as far back fifty years ago!"

"I'm _six_!"

The officers blinked. "Six… _what_?"

"Six years old!"

"What's a 'year'?"

Calvin ran his hands through his hair in irritation. "You mean to tell me you've been searching across the universe for me, and you didn't even research the planet I'm from?"

"We _thoroughly _researched the planet! We just… didn't investigate your measurements for the passage of time," the interrogator said with a lame finish.

Calvin sighed. "Well, maybe you'd better start. There are more holes in your investigation than in my sock drawer."

The interrogator leaned over and proceeded to whisper something into the ear of the officer next to him, and after a few moments, all the other officers nodded in agreement, confusing Calvin to no end.

A moment later, the black sphere surrounding them dropped, and then the other four force fields dropped as well.

"Interrogation complete," one of the officers declared.

"You will wait here," another one ordered.

The officers and interrogators marched single file out of the room, leaving our heroes at the desks.

The five friends all looked at each other across the room, blinking as they dealt with the fluorescent light re-entering their corneas.

Then the door opened again, and they were greeted by the intimidating sight of Dracip. He towered over them, arms crossed and looking very stern. They all froze under his gaze, not sure whether or not they should do anything just because he had entered the room.

At last, he spoke. "You will be released."

They all blinked in surprise.

Sherman found his voice. "We… we will?"

"Yes, you will."

They looked at each other. "Well…," Socrates said, clasping his paws together, "…that's right decent of you."

"You are not allowed to leave the city."

Now they deflated. "Oh… well…," Hobbes said awkwardly.

"Your case is under review. Your testimonies are filed, and we shall investigate whether or not the charges are false. You shall be confined to this city and kept under close supervision."

"How close?" Andy asked. "Because I can't go to the bathroom with other people in the room."

"We shall allow you to go about your day-to-day lives. Just know…," Dracip leaned in close for emphasis, "… we're watching you."

"Yes, sir," Calvin said with a slightly nervous nod.

Dracip pulled back and started tapping commands onto a wrist computer he was wearing. "Good. Now then – where shall we drop you off?"

"Er… back with our friends."

"Ah yes, Galaxoid and Nebular… Very well. We shall send you to them."

He pressed a button on his computer, and then the entire world went a weird blue color for our heroes before they found themselves standing in the middle of an old building, and Galaxoid and Nebular were nearby, clearly startled by their arrival.

"Good grief!" Galaxoid exclaimed, jumping back in alarm. "Where did _you_ spring from?!"

The others all looked each other over, patting themselves down to make sure they hadn't lost anything vital. They were relieved to find everything accounted for.

"We just got put through the weirdest interrogation we've ever been in," Calvin explained.

"And believe us when we say, we've been through plenty," Hobbes added.

"So what happened?" Nebular asked. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, they just said they'd keep tabs on us while they reviewed our case."

"Oh, good. The appeal was filed."

"What appeal?" asked Andy.

"We put in for an appeal against your case. Ought to buy us some time."

"Well, they know where we are now," Sherman pointed out. "No point in hiding from them."

"We're also confined to this town," Hobbes said dourly. "Can't go anywhere outside of…" He trailed off as he finally took in his surroundings. "Wait… Where the heck are we?"

"We made contact with a local… well, contact," Galaxoid explained. "This is a safe house. Not as luxurious as the hotel, but given how things went over while we were there, we might need something low key."

"What do you mean?"

Nebular reached into a bag from the pile of luggage they had brought with them and pulled out a small technical-looking device that resembled an iPad. He pressed a button and selected a bookmarked item from the favorites list, pulling up a holographic image of a news article that was crudely translated to English.

"Word of your arrest has spread around the city," he explained, scrolling through the text. "Citizens have flocked to the city. All the hate mail you got? The senders have arrived at the hotel in either righteous fury or admiration."

"Admiration?" Calvin asked, looking really confused.

"You'd be amazed how many fan clubs there are for so many weird things," Socrates said with an experienced nod.

"Great," Andy sighed, rubbing his eyes with the flats of his hands.

"Wait…," Sherman said, looking around. "Where's Grandfather?"

"In the cafeteria," Galaxoid sighed. "Seemed to be the only place he was genuinely interested in staying."

"Big surprise."

* * *

Grandfather was sitting amongst a pile of dirty dishes, picking his teeth with a tiny toothpick. His formal dress clothes were in complete disarray, smudged and stained, with his tie dangling loosely around his neck.

Calvin, Hobbes, Andy, Sherman and Socrates entered the room and spotted him immediately. "Anything left?" Sherman asked ironically.

Grandfather swiftly down the last of the finger foods, which were like a gourmet meal to him. "Just finished. Should've gotten here sooner," he replied.

Hobbes was the first to notice the wanted poster of them was lying nearby, completely clean and pristine. "You've still got that?"

"Of course, it's my souvenir of you boys!" Grandfather said. He pulled out a pen and passed it to Hobbes. "Wouldn't mind signing it, would you? It'd mean the world to an old hamster like me."

Hobbes sighed and signed the picture.

Andy looked the old hamster up and down. "Wait… you've still got the outfit on. You didn't return them to the waiter?"

"What for? He's got more than one, don't you think?"

"I hope so. I doubt he'd want them back in that condition," Sherman grumbled.

"Pitted, stained, and stretched around the middle… Even Goodwill wouldn't take 'em," Socrates agreed.

The boys proceeded through the line to acquire some grub with the money they'd been supplied with by Galaxoid. They found the cuisine to be visually curious enough for them to be interested in it, so they piled up and gathered around the table near Grandfather, enjoying an actual meal.

It was interrupted when a short squat creature with tentacles for hands and feet slithered up to them looking quite flustered and followed by another shorter alien with a clipboard. He was clearly not having a good day as he spoke at a mile a minute. "All right, fine. Let's talk no more about it. If that's your opinion, then that's fine."

"He seems to be heading in our direction…," Hobbes murmured.

"Seems a fun sort of fellow," Socrates said with a growing grin. "Can't wait to mess with him a little."

The squat fellow kept at it. "Look, just stop crowding me. If you think I'm unsuitable, let's have it out in the open. No more of this 'backroom politics'. If you want me out, just kick me out!" he said in increasing volume, almost directly into Calvin's face.

Calvin was never one to miss a cue. "I'd prefer to know your name first. We'll go from there."

"I am Tenzale. I am the director of this safe house. I tend to the paperwork needed to look after this fare citizens. I was willing to take you refugees in, but I did _not _expect to have my position threatened by _your _travelling director."

Socrates smiled sweetly. "I could listen to you for _hours_. _Do _go on."

Tenzale riled slight, detecting the sarcasm in the red-tailed tiger's tone. He seemed the sort to go mad and scream and kick if he got angry enough. All it would take was one well-timed crisis to push him over the edge, and it seemed as though such a crisis was rapidly approaching.

"What's all this about a travelling director?" Hobbes asked.

"I refer, of course, to Mr. Hamster _Senior_," he hissed, pointing a red tentacle in the direction of Grandfather, who was chowing down an oversized amount of something that vaguely resembled potato salad.

"Of course," all five said together, looking at him with disdain.

Grandfather felt their eyes on him and looked up, swallowing his latest mouthful. "Shermie, they're trying to fob you boys off with this twit. The poor creature clearly couldn't look after anyone. Probably couldn't even look after his own suckers. Don't worry, though. I gave him the test."

Tenzale winced but braced himself. "I'm quite happy to be replaced," he said bravely.

Grandfather pointed accusingly at him. "See how he shrivels? He shirks at the first sign of insurrection! Ready to throw in the towel as soon as it's looking the tiniest bit bleak!"

Tenzale looked riled again and leaned in close the gorged hamster. "_I've been given awards for my charity to this great city!_"

"A likely story."

"I've got them on the walls of my office! I'm only too happy to bring them down and let you _gawk_ at them!"

There was a tense silence as everyone sat between them tried their best to ignore the argument and finish their meals. Tenzale and Grandfather just glared at each other.

The tension was thankfully broken by Galaxoid entering the room. Arrangements had gone well, and everyone was safe and sound at the shelter, so everything was fine. Fine for the first time in days. He slithered casually up to the table and greeted them warmly. "Hello! Isn't everything just _wonderful_?"

Everyone turned to look at him with sour expressions. Tenzale looked more than a little neurotic as his eyes twitched.

Galaxoid sized up the situation. "Well, my friends," he said to the gang. "I think it's time to show you to your quarters. You probably need some rest."

"Thanks, Galaxoid," Calvin said, getting up and taking his tray back to the receptacle to be cleaned, the others doing the same.

"Yes, _thank you_," Tenzale said, dripping with gratitude. He gave Grandfather one last glare and stormed away, followed by the shorter alien with the clipboard. "Get me something to drink and a tranquilizer pills," he murmured as calmly as he could. "Do you see what's happening? It's a plot. The whole thing's a plot."

The other alien just nodded mutely and wrote on the clipboard, taking care to make sure the word 'tranquilizer' was underlined.

* * *

Galaxoid led the boys up the corridors to their new bedroom. Andy had Sherman on his shoulder, and they had both made sure that Hobbes was the one who carried Grandfather, knowing the jungle cat would take great care not to let the old man get away.

They passed several other creatures along the way, several of which were wearing torn up and worn out old clothes, clearly in troubling times. They squeezed past them along a narrow stairway that led into a slightly-less-narrow corridor.

Socrates looked up at one of the aliens in what appeared to be the remnants of an old Victorian outfit. "Nice outfit," he said conversationally.

The alien looked up at him and winked. "Wanna swap…?"

Socrates blinked. "But I'm not wearing any… Oh!"

"Come on, Socrates!" Calvin shouted back at him.

They continued on their way through the winding corridors. They made their way through the crowds of aliens trying to go in the opposite direction before they finally came across a hallway filled with doors. They were simple old wooden doors with just as simple locks that ordinary house keys could open. Galaxoid revealed the key in his tentacle and opened one of the doors. "Okay, everyone," he said. "Inside. We'll send the luggage up later when the crowds aren't so thick."

The others took in the room, disappointed. The hotel room had been very lush and fancy. This was just a rundown old broom closet fixed up as a room. There were only two beds, meaning they would have to share. They realized that accommodations were cheap due to the nature of the establishment. It was for life forms down on their luck and unable to afford better. Everything was just bare essentials. They could appreciate that and still be annoyed at the same time.

Galaxoid herded them all inside. "Okay, in you get," he ordered. "Now then – no horseplay, no messing around, no wandering the building, no visiting anyone, and above all…"

"No fun!" the five of them chorused.

Galaxoid blinked. "I was going to say 'no spitting out the window', but I guess that sums it up."

Calvin snapped his fingers in disappointment.

Galaxoid looked very stern, however. "Anymore nonsense like the stunt you pulled at the hotel, and I _will _lock you in. Clear?"

"Crystal," Hobbes said sadly.

Galaxoid nodded and closed the door, leaving.

The others looked at each other guiltily. They knew they had screwed themselves over. Galaxoid and Nebular had been going to a great deal of trouble to help them, and they'd repaid them by flouting their rules and getting themselves in trouble. Deciding they would have to behave for now, they proceeded to get ready for bed.

Calvin and Hobbes took one bed, which they were used to by now. Andy and Socrates took the other one, not really sure how to deal with it until Socrates got the idea to move his pillow down to the opposite side of the bed so they weren't technically taking up each other's space.

Sherman, meanwhile, had made himself a modest bed out of an old facial tissue box, which still had plenty of tissue in it, and it was the soft and snuggly kind, so he was able to get comfy on the nightstand in the middle of the group.

Grandfather, on the other hand, wasn't invited to share with anyone. He was left on top of a rundown old dresser that had no clothes in it. He decided to finally remove the fancy suit he was wearing and stripped down to his natural state before assembling a crude pillow out of them. He left the poster of the gang nearby, smirking deviously to himself. He had plans for those signatures…


	7. The Morning

The following morning was a bit cold and drab. The boys woke up in the rundown bedroom with no real expectations for the day. They gathered their things and prepared for another day of lying low.

Grandfather scurried over to where Socrates was practicing stretching like a cat – something he was a bit slow at – and held out the poster. "Socrates, lad, would you mind signing this for me?"

Socrates, his mind on other things, absentmindedly signed the poster with an ink pen and resumed what he was doing.

Grandfather turned his attention to Andy, who was putting on a fresh pair of socks. "And you, Andrew," he said brightly, holding out the pen. "Could I have yours?"

Andy looked at him suspiciously. "What for?" he demanded.

"I'm going to have this framed to remember this adventure. It'll be something of comfort in my declining years."

It was the first nice thing Andy had had said to him in a long time, so he was moved enough he was convinced to sign it. Maybe the debilitated old hamster cared after all.

Grandfather hid a smirk. Four down, one to go. He looked over at Calvin, who was making sure he'd remembered to pack his rocket ship underpants. He needed to be a little bit slyer with him.

"Calvin, my boy, would you mind – ?"

"No," Calvin replied shortly, not even looking at him.

"I was only asking…"

"Yeah, I know what you were asking. Now shut up."

The boys were confined to quarters all day. Their meals would be brought to them. There was simply no one they could trust. One wrong move, and they'd be arrested. They knew the bounty hunters would be keeping an eye on them, but there had been no sign of them to date. Keeping a low profile was what Galaxoid had decided to be the best course of action. It didn't exactly make complete sense to Calvin, who felt that just going about the confines of the town and going about their business would be enough to convince the law that they weren't menaces to society.

Andy, meanwhile, was growing restless. There was little to do in the bedroom. He was much more interested in the building. If there was one thing he loved doing, it was wandering around buildings he was unfamiliar with. He was the type of kid who would wander away and ride the elevator just to see what the next floor of his dad's office had to offer. He couldn't control himself as he approached their door and pushed it open.

Across the corridor, he found himself staring at the opposite door, which didn't look old and wooden like the others, suggesting to him that it wasn't someone's living quarters. Curious, he looked up and down the corridor. He could hear the faint sound of a crowd of people downstairs, suggesting that something was going on. Perhaps a party, or lunch being served, or some sort of argument. Whatever it was, it seemed to have absorbed the other residents downstairs to investigate, leaving him in an empty corridor.

Satisfied that no one was there to catch him, the boy reached across to press against the metal door handle. Pausing momentarily to make sure nothing was attached to it – no alarms or nets or buckets of gasoline – he was certain it was safe to put his whole weight against it. He pushed the door open and found himself looking out into the early morning light of an alien planet. Moments later, he was joined from behind by Calvin, Hobbes, Socrates and Sherman, all looking over his shoulder at the world outside. They'd found a fire escape.

Stepping out onto the metal gantry, they looked out at the world beyond the shelter. It was vast, empty and beautiful. Sure, there were heaps of broken down junk strewn everywhere, but there were no people. No citizens of any sort taking up the landscape.

Feeling a surge they hadn't felt in a long time, Andy led them down the fire escape, clanking down as they descended about five flights. They clattered and banged all the way down, making it to the alley, wherein they found loads of old machines and scrap metal from tools and objects left to fend for themselves in the weather. The gang ran around the grimy playground, enjoying the fresh air and the strange new sky.

Then, Hobbes spotted a gate in the tall wooden fence before them. Picking the lock with one of his claws, he was able to swing it open and reveal what lay beyond. It was a field. Logically, it didn't add up. There should've been more rotted old junk lying around. It was just how things worked in the universe. Anything nice or natural was destined to be destroyed by obscene amounts of waste. To find something so untainted just sitting there, unspoiled by the rest of the universe, was just too huge to ignore.

Calvin put a cautious toe out into the field. Nothing happened. Just the grass under his shoe bending slightly. Realizing it was safe, he walked out into the field, allowing the others to trail behind him. They walked out towards the middle, heads held high, gazing up at the purple sky that was steadily turning turquoise, and they spun around in clumsy circles, steadily getting dizzy. They felt that freedom again. That sort of feeling you only get when you know for an absolute fact no one's watching.

"… What now?" Socrates asked.

Calvin looked over at Hobbes, and they both grinned. Calvin pulled his hypercube out of his pocket and rifled through it, pulling out five identical masks and a volleyball. The others grinned eagerly and put on the masks. Too eager to go to the trouble of putting out wickets and everything, they settled for the mallets and hobby horse, and they proceeded to chase each other around the field, yelling out their random rules and having all sorts of fun. They figured it wasn't as bad as the previous night, seeing as how they were still within visual range of the shelter. It was right across the street, so it was just a matter of getting over there if need be.

They were really starting to enjoy themselves and the frenetic release of energy they were finally getting. So it was a shame that it had to be interrupted by a forceful voice coming from the gate.

"You hooligans get off my property!"

They all stopped in the middle of the game. Calvinball was rarely interrupted in such a way. They looked in the direction of the gate and saw a large burly creature with six angry eyes and a very clean overcoat was standing there, holding it open and looking very frustrated at having his grass stepped on.

The five of them looked at each other. None of them wanted to leave, but this fellow looked like the sort who would trample on any enjoyment if it meant keeping his property un-stepped-on. This was just the way of the universe. No wonder the field had been so nice. A humorless fellow like this had gone to great lengths to ensure that his ownership was not trodden upon. He looked the sort who would murder someone just for breathing on his stuff incorrectly. Different from the businessman on the star ship, yet in many ways the same.

The bourgeois owner stepped aside of the gate, indicating that he was itching to slam it angrily behind them when they eventually left. He looked the sort who would call the police as well. With no choice, they removed their masks and put everything back in the hypercube. The interlude was over, and it was time to return to the monotony of their room. They marched single file through the gate and past the alien, with Socrates the last to pass through.

"Shall we phone the hospital and see if we can save your field?"

His response was the angry slam they had been anticipating.

* * *

Grandfather stirred from the nap he had been taking. He looked around and saw that the room was totally empty. The boys had disappeared, so it was time for him to start in on his plan. He picked up the poster and went over towards Calvin's suitcase. He needed the boy's genuine signature if his plan was to go off accordingly. He dug through, searching for something he could work with. It was mostly just clothes and comic books, but there was nothing with his handwriting.

But then he saw something in the corner. It was a few crumpled papers. Digging through them hopefully, he quietly hoped they were worth his time. He found a history paper that was horribly inaccurate, talking about how Martians had built the pyramids and were eaten by the Egyptians. That entertained him for about fifteen minutes. Then he found some humorously incorrect math problems that said that seven plus six equaled forty-seven. That was good for a few chuckles. What really fascinated him, however, was an old book report about "The Boxcar Children", which suggested that the kids were fugitives who manipulated the events of the story so they could trick an old man into believing they were actually children. The subject matter was topped off from a fancy scribble that, if you squinted and tilted your head to the left, looked like it said, "Calvin the Bold".

Grinning triumphantly, he snatched it away, then grabbed several sheets of paper and made a run out the door and scurried through an air duct, traveling bumpily down the metal tunnels, trying to keep a good grip on the papers. He slid and slalomed left and right until he reached the absolute bottom. It was the basement, filled with old junk and trash that had been left to rot. More importantly, there was no one in sight.

Grandfather climbed out and sought out a nice place to sit down and set everything up. There was a tall platform in the middle of it all that looked ideal. He climbed up and laid out all his findings. He set the poster aside and proceeded to try to replicate Calvin's signature on the blank sheets of paper. Replicating signatures was difficult, but it was something he was good at. He worked slowly and carefully, trying to master Calvin's childish scribble. It wasn't easy trying to make it look just as illegible as the boy had made it, but he was patient and determined.

After half an hour of practice, he managed three signatures in a row that looked close enough, he decided he would take a chance and write it on the poster. He focused and went to the crumpled poster and gripped his pen carefully. He signed it as steadily as he could. He watched eagerly and happily as it looked perfect, and his joy quadrupled when he finished, and the desired outcome occurred. The five signatures on the poster began to glow a faint yellow light, giving off a slight energy. He'd done it. It was complete. He could start now.

There was a clatter from the nearby stairwell, and he reacted quickly, pulling away the papers and hiding behind the wooden post beside the platform. He could hear them coming downstairs, whoever they were. He wasn't about to let his scheme fail just because there were nosy folk sneaking around.

"They're not here," Nebular's voice said as he entered the room.

"Well, anyone can _tell _they're not here!" Galaxoid grumbled, looking around the junk that filled the basement.

"So where've they gone?"

"Oh, who knows at this point? They've probably run out on the town again!"

"Well, as long as they stay within the city…"

"I know! But I want them were I can find them! Who'd have thought looking after five earthlings would be so infuriating?"

"Come on. Maybe they went back to the room."

"Oh please…"

But they left anyway, frustrated and annoyed.

Grandfather went to peek out from around the corner and see if they were truly gone and ended up tripping over a lever that was oddly placed just outside the platform. Of all the places to have one! Then he felt the world shift, and he began to travel upwards. He realized this wasn't just any old platform. It was some kind of elevator. It was raising him up towards the ceiling. It was ascending rather slowly, but he was still alarmed to find himself headed for the wooden tiles above, so he braced himself for his gradual impact.

Then, the ceiling seemed to disappear and a bright light shined down on him. Grandfather briefly wondered if his heart had finally given out and he was being assumed into heaven. He wasn't looking forward to what the almighty would have to say before they realized a clerical error and sent him even deeper than the basement.

But now he heard music, which was clearly not meant to be part of the heavenly chorus. He was on some sort of elevator that brought him up into what appeared to be some sort of loading dock. He could only stand stock still as his eyes adjusted and he found himself in a room that was filled with creatures that looked like they were none too happy to see him. They were all of various heights and sizes, with a few different species here and there. But they were all glaring down at him.

Grandfather looked around. The source of the music was a stereo on a table nearby. Clearly, the break room was part of the workroom. That might suggest that these people were already irritated, what with their poor working conditions. They towered over the elderly hamster with annoyance and disbelief.

"Who are you, and what the heck are you doing, playing with the elevator?" one of them asked.

Grandfather cleared his throat. "Now see here, young man, I was only trying to…"

Another one leaned in close. "And why are you wearing that?"

Grandfather froze. "Wearing what…?"

"Don't think we can't see through your disguise. We know your type. Lots of them are paying customers. Good and decent. But you…"

Grandfather quickly got the idea that these guys were smarter than they looked. Acting with surprising agility, he gathered the papers in one fell swoop and darted away, diving under the table and heading for the nearest air duct. He managed to squeeze inside. He could hear them shouting and bellowing after him, but their threats and fury merely echoed around the ducts as he got away.

As he made it to the safety of a junction, he mopped his brow in relief. That had been a _very _close one. Still, he had his prize, so he set to work with the poster. Now was not the time to make use of it. He would wait awhile before he completed his mission.

* * *

Their experience in the field had left a bad taste in their mouths, so the gang decided to return to the building and get some breakfast. The cuisine had seemed intriguing the night before, and it was time to see what this civilization's equivalent to pancakes was. They walked up the narrow hallways towards the back of the building.

On their way, they passed a few other aliens who just ignored them and went about their business. They were just rounding the final corner towards the kitchen when a tall thin female alien passed them. She seemed about to ignore them like the others, but a moment later, she did a double take in their direction. They knew right away they'd been recognized and tried to brush past her.

"Goodness me, it's you!" she exclaimed, holding out a scaly hand to Socrates in particular.

The others ducked around the corner and escaped, but Socrates stayed to see what she had to say. He smiled amiably with an air of false cluelessness. "I'm sorry?"

Her confidence faltered at his apparent confusion. "You're… You must be!"

"Must be what?"

"Him! From the… Well, there were posters and…"

"Oh, that! No, I'm not."

"But you must be…"

"No, I'm not."

"… You look just like him…"

Socrates feigned surprise. "Do I? You know, you're the first one who's ever said that. It's flattering, really, but no one else…"

"No, you do," she said, gesturing to a mirror. "Take a look."

Socrates looked at his reflection, but frowned and shook his head. "Nah, not really. My eyes are lighter. And the nose… Look at the nose."

"Your nose is very…," she said automatically, but stopped herself, instead trying to get a better look at him in the light.

"You think so?" he asked, feeling it over.

"Yes, I do."

"Well, you clearly know him better than me."

She looked a bit affronted at that. "I most certainly do not! He's nothing more than a casual acquaintance!" she said with some dignity.

Socrates smirked mischievously. "That's what _you_ say."

She looked worried. "What've you heard?"

"Oh, please. Everyone knows. Talking about it frequently."

She looked uneasy. "Really?"

"Yeah, but I wouldn't hear of it. 'Not her', I said. 'She's got too much class for something so low down'."

She smiled warmly. "I knew I could rely on you."

Socrates just looked down humbly.

She looked him over once more before remarking, "You don't look a thing like him."

Socrates just nodded and turned around the corner, rejoining his friends who had been listening in. "She looks more like him than I do," he muttered, brushing past them towards the kitchen while they just chuckled.

* * *

Sometime later, Galaxoid and Nebular wandered back into the bedroom, looking at the empty beds in absolute depression. They'd done it again. They'd run off and probably weren't coming back anytime soon. Even Grandfather had disappeared. Nebular quietly started to clear things away while Galaxoid just slumped in a chair.

"… Maybe they just went out for a walk," Nebular said, trying to be reassuring.

"No, that's too simple for them," Galaxoid said sadly. "They're out there now, causing trouble."

"As long as they stay within the city, they're fine."

"I know. They're probably standing right on the city limits just to torment me."

Nebular sighed as he put the suitcases away. "Galaxoid, it's all in your mind."

"No, this has become a battle of nerves between Calvin and me."

"You give the boy too much credit. He's not out to cause trouble. Not when his life's on the line."

"How much do you think it would cost to get a ball and chain on them?"

Nebular rolled his eye.

Moments later, they heard a smattering of voices coming up the corridor.

Galaxoid stood up. "Right. It's time I was more authoritative with them. Show them who is boss."

Nebular sighed. "You've always been like this in stressful situations. Remember when we were in the academy? You always fretted about the size of your spiral notebooks. Thought you couldn't pass unless it was twelve by nine."

Galaxoid ignored him and straightened his hat, preparing himself for the onslaught of indifference that was sure to be sent his way unless he looked tough.

The door swung open right in his face and threw him into the corner as Hobbes entered first, then Calvin, Andy and Socrates. Their eyes fell on Nebular.

"Hey, Nebular!" Calvin said brightly. "Don't mind us. We were just out for a walk and had breakfast in the canteen."

Nebular hid a smirk. "Figured as much."

"Where's Galaxoid?" Hobbes asked.

The little grey alien in question stumbled out from between the door and the wall. "I told you to stay here!" he tried to snap, but he was a bit dazed. "When I say 'stay put', I mean 'stay put'!"

Socrates dropped to his knees. "Read me my rights, officer! I'll never stray off course again! I throw myself upon the mercy of the court!"

"Oh, get up, you twit," Calvin sighed.

Galaxoid massaged his eye. "For pity's sake…"

Andy patted him where his shoulder would've been. "Don't worry. We won't mess up anymore. We'll stay in the room."

"Good boy, Andrew," Galaxoid grumbled, throwing a nasty glare at the others.

"Teacher's pet," Calvin sneered.

"Way to betray the class, Andy," Socrates added.

Andy's temper flared again at the insults. "Oh, lay off!" he snapped.

Socrates just got in his face, smiling sweetly. "Temper, temper," he admonished.

"I said lay off!"

Hobbes got in the middle. "Okay, everyone. Let's not let cabin fever take over our already addled minds, yeah?"

Andy folded his arms bitterly and went for a sulk. The usually reasonable boy had been getting more and more frustrated lately, and it was beginning to concern his friends a bit.

Before they could say anything, the short alien who was an assistant to Tenzale popped his head in the door. "Excuse me," he announced, "but your presence is required downstairs. Tenzale would like a word."

"What sort of word?" Nebular asked.

"A frustrated one," the assistant replied as he turned and left back down the corridor.

"My favorite," Calvin said tiredly. "Shall we get to it?"

"With our usual diplomacy skills?" Hobbes asked.

"Correct. So Socrates? Shut up."

Socrates nodded and mimed zipping his lip. He followed Calvin and Hobbes out of the room.

Andy hung back for a bit, so Sherman climbed off the nearby table and clawed his way up the boy's clothes onto his shoulder. "What do you think? Up for a stroll? They need us levelheaded types to keep them in order."

Andy was still pouting with irritation. He didn't look ready to cave yet.

Sherman patted him on his neck. "Come on. You know they need you. Otherwise Calvin will just get in a shouting match with Tenzale."

The thought of being needed managed to melt the ice in Andy's heart at that moment, so he loosened up a little, and some of the tension in his neck dissolved. Sherman sighed with relief as they turned and followed after the others. He was growing concerned for his young friend. He seemed to be increasingly agitated lately, and he wasn't sure what would happen if it finally came to a head.


	8. The Desertion

**Author's Note: **_Apologies for the delay. Life has become a touch on the hectic side recently. But I had some time today, so I finished this chapter. Hope it doesn't look like it was written in less than a day. Because it was. Written in a day._

_Anyroad, let's push on..._

* * *

The little alien who assisted Tenzale ran into the main dining hall where a couple of the basement workers were growling. He looked up at them and nodded courteously before addressing Tenzale, who was tapping his foot and glaring at him furiously.

"Where are they?" he demanded. Upon not receiving an instantaneous answer, he repeated himself in a more irritated tone. "_Where are they_?"

"They're coming!" his assistant said placatingly. "I promise, they're coming!"

"Oh really? Well, if they're not here within thirty seconds, there will be trouble! I promise you that! They will be out on the street, left to fend for themselves, and nothing to their name! I will personally see to it that they are promptly arrested and thrown into the chasm!"

The tirade took some energy out of him, so he was just standing there, panting heavily when Calvin, Hobbes, Andy, Sherman and Socrates entered the room, looking at him in bemusement. He looked silently aghast as he realized they had heard him.

"Always nice to know who your friends are," Calvin said flatly.

Tenzale growled to himself, trying to maintain his dignity. "It's all a plot…," he muttered to his assistant.

Hobbes felt it best to steer things into a more orderly direction. "You called?"

"It's the workers," the assistant said worriedly. "They say one of your party caused a disruption downstairs."

The quintet looked around. "Well, we've been together all day…," Andy said.

"Physically, at any rate," Socrates agreed.

The tall imposing basement worker glared down at them. "It was a little fella, like that one," he said, pointing an accusing finger at Sherman.

The hamster groaned. "Oh, don't tell me…," he sighed.

"Where's the old man?" Calvin asked urgently.

"He disappeared," the worker grumbled. "I don't know what you're doing with the likes of him, but you need to watch your back. He's trouble."

"Yeah, we knew that," Hobbes agreed.

"He's thrill-obsessed," Socrates added. "The older generation just have no respect for hard work and responsibility."

"We don't know where he went," the worker continued. "He slipped into the air ducts and disappeared."

"Must be a snit," Calvin snorted. "Can't stand his humdrum existence, so he's off having a sulk."

"Must be contagious," Socrates put in. "He's given it to Andy."

Andy scowled, so Sherman tried to speak up. "Okay, would you leave the poor boy alone?"

But this only incensed Andy, who rounded on his hamster. "I don't need _you_ to stick up for me," he snapped.

Sherman shrank back, offended.

"Okay, everyone back off and leave the lad alone, lest we catch his temper," Socrates teased.

"Leave him alone, Socrates, or I'll tell them all the truth about you," Calvin warned.

Socrates looked at him with a flat expression. "You wouldn't."

"Oh, just watch me."

The red-tailed tiger pouted in response.

"So what do we do about the old man?" Calvin asked.

"Grandfather? Heaven knows where he is. Of all the times for you to leave the MTM behind."

"He's covering for us with my folks. If they found out I was on an intergalactic road trip, they'd blow a fuse."

The worker towered over them, remind him that he was still there. "We want that little creature captured. His kind doesn't belong down there."

Sherman blinked. "His 'kind'? Hamsters aren't allowed in the basement?"

Hobbes shrugged. "Most rodents aren't allowed in basements. Mice, rats, etc."

"Grandfather isn't 'most rodents'."

"No kidding. I don't know how you lot got stuck with a creature like him, but if I were you, I'd take him back to his home planet where he clearly belongs." And on that final insult, he turned skulked away.

Calvin blinked. "Home planet…?" he asked.

Socrates shrugged. "We can't go back to Earth until the authorities say we're allowed to."

But Calvin was clearly deep in thought. "Hmmmm… I wonder…"

"Wonder what?" Hobbes asked, aware that his friend's mind was working at its usual pace when he was pondering something important.

Calvin waved him away. "Just a simple thought."

Tenzale sighed. "Well, if that's all, I need to get going. Shipments are coming in later." He looked at them in agitation. "It's a young man's world," he muttered, turning to walk away. "I can't take the pace." And he was gone, with his assistant trailing behind him.

Sherman shook his head. "Just what in the world is the old man up to now?"

"I guess we're looking for him again, eh?" Socrates asked.

"He can't have gone far," Hobbes said. "He'd have to be somewhere in the building."

"Come on," Calvin said. "Sherman – you crawl around the air ducts. The rest of us will search the interior. Tigers – use your olfactory senses. That'll give us an advantage."

"Searching for a geriatric hamster," Hobbes said with a nod. "That's a very specific smell."

"Right, just go in the direction of old saw dust and denture adhesive," Socrates agreed.

Calvin, Hobbes and Socrates all split off into different directions to seek the old man out. Sherman hung back with Andy, who was still in a sulk.

"Are you going to look?" he asked, careful not to upset his friend further.

"I will," Andy grumbled, sticking his hands in his pockets. "You go on ahead."

Sherman nodded in acceptance. His friend needed to cool off for a bit. He climbed down his clothes and headed for the nearest air duct, pulling it open and climbing inside.

Andy went off by himself, sitting down at the top of the stairs and peering down at all the activity around him. Various creatures were milling around, getting food, caught up in conversation and trying to stay warm. It was hard to believe this was technically summer vacation. He sat in silence, head in hands, and elbows on his knees and wishing he could just go home and play his videogames again.

He was so busy brooding that he didn't notice the cover on the air duct just down the hall open up, and Grandfather tumbled out. He looked around and saw Andy on his own. Almost instantly, a malicious gleam came into his eye. He scurried over and sat down beside him.

"Well, take a look at you, sitting there in a thick gloom," he murmured.

Andy turned and saw him, but he didn't do anything about it. He was still too depressed to immediately grab the hamster and take him into custody. He just stared at him.

Grandfather took it as permission to continue. "They've completely sapped your ability to do anything for yourself. Just robbed you of your self-confidence and reduced you to this sad puddle of a human being just sitting in a slouch."

Andy finally found his voice. "I'm just… frustrated," he said, trying to be reasonable. "I just need to sit for a while."

"Bah! Sitting! You should be out there right now, working off that anger…"

"I'm just trying to cool down."

"Until what? Your emotions become completely devoid? Until you can't bring yourself to feel anything anymore? Is that what those twits have reduced you to? A nobody who can't stand on his own two feet? Is that it?!"

Andy shifted uncomfortably. Something in the hamster's words were riling him up. "Well, what else am I supposed to do?"

"You get out there and live!" Grandfather exclaimed passionately. "You get out there and throw caution to the wind! You live your life to the fullest and let it all out! You parade the streets! You march along! You make it clear to the world that they should look out for you, because you're Andrew, and you are _living_!"

Andy blinked. "But… aren't I living now?"

Grandfather sneered. "When was the last time you went out and ran down a street without a care in the world? When's the last time you ever showed a girl you cared for her? Went out and validated her existence with a cool laidback stare?"

"You're a bit old for that, aren't you?"

"I've got my memories to keep me company, lad. And what have you got?"

Andy's temper flared. "Oh, shove off! You're as bad as the rest of them…"

Grandfather looked triumphant. "So! You've got some emotion left in you after all! And here I thought they'd ground you down until there was nothing left!"

"… Huh?"

"Did you think I didn't notice? When I joined up with you all, I could tell they were all keeping you down. Trying to keep you brooding and quiet while they took all the glory and felt superior! Kept poor little Andrew in his videogames and trading cards and hiding away."

Andy shifted, still riled but trying to talk himself out of it. "I don't know…" There was something telling him that Calvin and the others _weren't _trying to keep him down, and tried to remind him of the times they'd been encouraging and appreciative of his level-headed nature. This funk he was in was mostly just personal frustration that they hadn't caused, and the teasing was just how they had operated since he'd met them, so it was hardly new…

But something still squelched that way of thinking. He was feeling determined to get angry.

Grandfather leaned in closer. "And what would they do without you, eh? The level-headedness of yours holds them together. They'd fall apart without you!"

"Yeah… they would…"

"And what's it all come to in the end?"

"Yeah…! What's in it for me?"

"When you could be out there, living your life, doing whatever you want, eating and drinking, making real friends and meeting real girls, not being held back by there cruelty! A nice young lad like you should be experiencing everything that the universe has to offer!"

Andy looked thoughtful. "I never thought of it like that. I guess being old is a bit of a drag, isn't it?"

Grandfather nodded sadly. "It's true…"

Andy nodded, and in that instant, his emotions took control, and he was on his feet, bounding down the stairs.

Grandfather watched him knowingly. "Where are you going?"

"I'm living, darn it!" Andy shouted without even looking back.

In an instant, he was out the interior door and gone.

Grandfather smiled self-righteously, gathering his papers and heading away.

* * *

Socrates was walking back from his search for Grandfather. He had a giant floppy hat on his head, lei of alien flowers and a sandwich with a strange but delicious filling he had obtained. He was just walking towards the door to report his findings when Andy came storming past. He waved him over cheerfully.

"Hey, Andy, can you guess what happened to me?"

"Nope," Andy replied simply, brushing past him and down the hall towards the lobby.

Socrates watched him leave, his previous high mood twisted into one of confusion.

Andy continued on his way. Calvin and Hobbes were in the lobby, reporting their findings when they saw their irate friend storming for the door.

"Andy, did you have any luck?" Hobbes asked.

Andy attempted to ignore them and charged for the door, grasping the handle.

Calvin saw what he was doing and took a step forward to stop him. "Whoa, hey, we need to be looking for the old man!"

"Look yourself," Andy replied, turning only to take satisfaction in the gaping expressions on their faces. When it was done, he out the door, letting it slam into place behind him.

Calvin blinked, taken aback. "What was all that about?"

Hobbes shrugged. "He always seems so… kosher…"

Socrates came bounding up. "Does _nobody _want to guess what happened to me?"

"In case you haven't noticed, our friend just stormed out on us," Calvin said with a firm glare.

At that moment, the air duct cover near them came open, and Sherman came out covered in dust and spluttering as came back out onto the floor. "Nope…," he coughed. "He wasn't in there…" He stopped dusting himself off when he saw their expressions. "What's up?"

"Andy's gone," Calvin said, still reeling a bit from it himself.

"Gone? Gone where?"

"He didn't say," Hobbes replied.

"I can't imagine where he'd go," Socrates added. "It's not like we know this area at all."

That thought immediately filled them all with dread. Under normal circumstances, if one of them felt the need to storm off in a huff, it was just a matter of leaving them to it long enough for them to cool down to the point that they could be reasoned with. Of course, most of those instances occurred in their own neighborhood on Earth, where they knew where everything was. Here, they were in not only a strange city in a strange country, but they were also on a different planet. Who knows where Andy would go in his fury?

And, even more worryingly, would Andy ever find his way back?

This dreadful thought penetrated their minds and made them fear for him even more.

"We have to catch up with him," Sherman said urgently.

Calvin nodded and pulled the perception filters out of his pocket, passing them out to everyone, only to realize that one of them was still here. Andy had left without his perception filter. They all stared at the lone chain dangling from his hand, feeling their dread quadruple.

"… We _really _have to catch up with him!" Sherman said even more urgently.

They burst out the door and stumbled into the street. They looked around. Only a few other citizens were milling about, either off to work or getting on with their lives. Content that they going unnoticed, their heads were soon swiveling in all directions, trying to spot their friend, but Andy had somehow already disappeared. There wasn't a sign of him anywhere.

"Flippin' Houdini…," Calvin muttered.

"Split up and look for him!" Sherman ordered.

They headed down one section of sidewalk, only to realize that none of them had split up. They tried going in another direction, but they were still in a group of four.

"Oh, it's finally happened," sighed Sherman. "I always feared this day would come."

"What day?" Hobbes asked.

"We've become inseparable."

They all looked at each other warily.

"Okay," Calvin said decisively. "Clearly, some sort of leadership needs to be taken. Hobbes – you go to the left. Socrates – you go to the right. Sherman – you and I will go straight ahead."

They all nodded in agreement.

"Okay, boys, let's bring our boy back alive!" Socrates declared.

And they slit up into the alien city.


	9. The Reveal

Andy had broken into a sprint and was soon a considerable distance from the safe house. He made it up the sidewalk and looked out into the alien sky in its beauteous afternoon. He took in a deep breath and enjoyed the strange feeling of the fresh air that was constantly absent on Earth. He smiled and looked around and took in the architecture, finally getting a chance to appreciate this place for what it was – different.

Of course, once he'd taken in the view, his confidence began to dwindle. He'd made it out and told the others off, but now what? What was the point of this again? To parade himself around town and live it up? What did that entail? The effects of Grandfather's words were beginning to fade. He thought about going back, but he felt that would just be a victory to the others. They'd probably laugh and jeer at him, uninterested in welcoming him back.

With that thought in mind, he dared to take those first few steps into town. He knew not to venture past the city limits, so it was just a matter of checking out the local color.

Unfortunately, two members of the local color found him first. Two young-looking creatures saw him around the corner and noticed. "Hey! It's that guy who drives all those drug dealers and gangsters around! Get him!"

Andy yelped and turned, running down the sidewalk and over a long bridge into town. Taking a moment to curse himself for forgetting his perception filter, he looked all over for somewhere to hide, but they were gaining on him. He ducked around another corner and saw a door open on a shop. There was a notice on the door that said, "We Buy Anything". Taking a chance he ducked inside.

The two aliens came around the corner, but they didn't see him. Confused as to how he could've disappeared so quickly, they slowed down and looked up and down the street for him. They were just considering going into the store to look for him when the door slid open and a tall man wearing a heavy trench coat and wide-brimmed hat came out.

"Excuse us," one of the aliens said. "Did you see a short humanoid come running through here?"

"Fraid not," the man replied. "Sorry."

The two aliens pouted and stalked away, miserable about missing out on the reward money.

Andy watched them leave from beneath the wide-brimmed hat. His parents would probably kill him if they found out he'd given away his cell phone and handheld videogame for a ratty trench coat, a hat and some elevator shoes, but he didn't care. He was going to get out and live for once. Content with his disguise, he turned and made his way up the street.

* * *

Hobbes sniffed the air for Andy, but the alien atmosphere was throwing him off his game a little. He tried finding him in a small complex of buildings before seeing a large building looming ahead that had lots of people coming in and out. Deciding that it was likely the boy could've ducked in there, the tiger decided to give it a try.

When he entered, he could tell at once it was some sort of office building. He looked around for a receptionist he could possibly talk to, hoping maybe someone had seen Andy. The lobby didn't seem to have much staff, so he checked the door with the least amount of creatures coming and going.

He found himself face to face with a receptionist filing her nails. She was tall and slender yet frumpy and clearly frazzled. She heard the door open, and when Hobbes was in the doorway, she looked up with exasperation. "About time you got here!"

Hobbes blinked in confusion. How had she seen past the perception filter when no one else had? "Oh, sorry," he said quickly. "I was just looking for someone…"

"Don't worry. You're here now. Come around with me. They'll want to see you straight away."

She got up from the desk with her three legs and led him down the hall. Hobbes was terribly confused, realizing she'd seen him because she'd been expecting someone like him to come. Not sure how to extract himself from the situation, he knew he'd have to clear things up with whoever was supposedly waiting for him.

The room they entered was a large photo studio loaded with posters of what he presumed to be famous celebrities from this region of the galaxy. They were interesting to say the least, but he knew better than to judge their appearance based on his own preconceptions of beauty. For all he knew, these creatures were the equivalent of Cindy Crawford.

The receptionist went up to a tall alien who was going over various photos and tapped him on the shoulder. "They sent us one," she said.

The tall alien looked up and regarded Hobbes. "Hmmm… not bad," he said.

"Not bad?" Hobbes asked, mildly affronted.

"I suppose he'll do for the commercial. He looks enough like the real thing."

Two other aliens were looking at Hobbes, and he could tell they had recognized him. They were trying to alert the taller alien's attention, but to no avail. "Sir…," one of them said.

"Not now, Adrian," the tall alien said.

Hobbes tried to straighten things out. "I'm sorry, I think there's been some mistake."

"Now, now, there's no need to play dumb. Just work with us and it'll all be over soon."

"What will?"

The tall alien stared at him as if he'd just dribbled on his own foot before breaking into a surprised smile. "I must say, he plays the part well."

The receptionist nodded. "I told them not to send us real ones."

"Quite right, too. These ones are so much easier to work with. Still, let's give him the rundown." He addressed Hobbes again. "My name is Simona. We here are trying to find someone to imitate the most recent convicts so we can use their likeness in our new line of designer clothing."

Hobbes blinked in surprise. "Is that right?"

"Yes, we need you to give an opinion on them."

"I could try…"

"Good. We'll write the opinion out for you to recite from memory."

"… Oh, _that _kind of opinion. Sorry, I thought you meant the real thing."

Simona just laughed as if Hobbes had just told a joke and set about going about his things. The tiger glanced at the other two aliens, whatever their names had been, and saw them looking at them with utmost terror, unable to speak. He just smiled reassuringly and winked, jerking his head in Simona's direction and indicating with his index finger spinning by his head, 'boy, he's nuts, ain't he?'

A bunch of colorful shirts that looked downright tacky were handed to Hobbes and he looked over them with a grimace. "They're not very good," he remarked.

"No, they're not," Simona agreed. "But they're what the people will want."

"Really?"

"Well, once we tell them to."

"You think that'll work?"

Simona smirked. "Of course. It's what we've been doing for years. We have set the world in motion so that there won't be a young person on the planet who doesn't suffer a crippling inferiority complex because they're not wearing what's 'in style'."

"Seems a tad evil."

"I prefer to think of it as simply keeping everyone in line."

Hobbes shook his head. "Well, that's all well and good, but it doesn't really sound like my kind of thing."

"Well, if you don't do it, you won't get to join the company."

"I'll survive."

"Oh please, you think someone of your lackluster talents could ever make it out there? It's a cruel world."

"Made all the more worse by your incessant meddling."

Simona seemed taken aback. "… What?"

"Isn't life hard enough without the big corporations trying to manipulate everyone into wanting things they don't need? Honestly, when I'm with my friends, we just turn the sound on mute and dub in the words ourselves. Imagine what it's going to be like when we learn some curse words…"

Simona backed away in horror. "He's knocking the program! Get him out!"

Hobbes blinked, almost amused. "Was it something I said?"

The receptionist grabbed him by the scruff of the neck and dragged him away.

"Sorry about the shirts!" he called over his shoulder as he was hurled out of the studio.

* * *

Andy meandered around town, still in his disguise, determined to find his way around town. He was wandering deeper and deeper into town, looking for things to do that might resemble "living it up". Staggering along in his long coat and elevator shoes, he was overlooking a river where a bunch of sailboats were out and about. They looked like they were having fun.

Looking around, he kicked at a brick in the road. He missed, so he tried again, but he missed again. Growing agitated with both himself and the brick, he lined up his foot and tried again. He managed to make contact, but it didn't even budge. Now really uptight, he bent over to pick it up, heaving it out of the ground. It was much bigger than he'd expected, with at least three quarters of it below the ground. Realizing how much trouble he'd put into a brick, he felt silly and chucked it away.

"Haven't you got anything better to do than throw bricks around?"

Andy jumped and saw someone who figured was some sort of policeman walking past, looking at him suspiciously but moving off all the same. He shrank back apologetically and walked off. All that over a dumb brick.

* * *

Galaxoid and Nebular had been dealing with Tenzale since the boys left. He was still miffed about what had happened earlier that day, and it was driving him mad. The workers down below hadn't complained a second time, so Tenzale was pretty much doing it for them.

"When I get my hands on that creature…," he murmured darkly. "When I find that tiny little…"

"Now hold on," Nebular said calmly. "The earthlings are out looking for him. They'll bring him back."

"The geriatric little rodent, I could…"

"Take it easy," Galaxoid said, mostly to himself, but helpful when this guy was breathing down their snorkels. "He's old. He's weak. There's no way he'll be able to escape…"

"You'd think," Nebular sighed. "He's a tricky little so-and-so. Just imagine what will happen it…"

He trailed off when something caught his eye. Galaxoid and Tenzale followed his gaze and saw his was looking at the nearest air duct, which was emitting a strange otherworldly orange glow. Some sort of strange energy force was swirling around the bars and out into the open air.

"What's happening?" Galaxoid asked.

"I… don't know," Tenzale replied. "That's never happened before."

"Where does that duct connect to?"

"I think the basement…"

They all looked at each other before realizing they were going to have to investigate. Steeling their resolve, they headed through the lobby and up to the basement door, pulling it open and finding the whole room alight with a strange power.

"Either someone's changed the lightbulb or they're dabbling in the black magic," Nebular mused.

"Either way, I'm not having it on my property," Tenzale grumbled, deciding to go down first.

They creaked down the stairs, watching the strange energy swirl around the room, dancing around them like fairy dust. They squinted, trying to find the source, and they were very surprised when they found where it was coming from.

It was coming from the floor just ahead of them, hidden slightly be some wooden packing crates. They pushed one of them aside and found Grandfather with his autographed poster of the boys, grinning with absolute excitement.

"Hey!" Tenzale snapped.

Grandfather's head jerked up in surprise before he quickly stepped on the poster with his tiny paws and made all the light go away instantaneously. The room's normal lighting returned, and he smiled winningly. "Oh! Hello…," he said as innocently as he could fake.

"What the devil do you think you were just doing?" Nebular demanded, more frightened than anything else.

"Nothing! Just… reading?"

Tenzale responded by reaching down and snatching away the poster from under Grandfather, sending him tumbling backwards onto his back. He looked it over and showed it to Galaxoid and Nebular. "He's got their signatures on it…"

Galaxoid's eyes widened. "Just what in the world are you trying to do?" he demanded, glaring down at Grandfather.

Grandfather just glared back up at him. "Give that back," he hissed.

"Not until you tell us what you're doing!"

The strangest thing happened in that moment. Grandfather got very angry, but not in the typically adorable way you'd _think _a hamster would get angry. He got angry enough to suddenly start growing larger, turn his greying brown fur into scaly green skin and grow super sharp fangs, not to mention fully-functional arms and legs. "I… said… _GIVE! THAT! __**BACK!**_"

They jumped backwards at his new form in terror.

"What the dickens?" Tenazle cried.

Grandfather jumped them and knocked all three to the ground, wrestling to the get the poster back. They rolled around on the dusty floor, trying to get a hold of each other. After several seconds of fumbling and struggling, he managed to lock his index finger and thumb onto a corner on the poster, and he gave an incantation so quickly that they couldn't even understand it. The five signatures on the poster suddenly lit up, and they erupted the same energy source they had seen earlier, throwing everyone to the floor.

Galaxoid barely had time to get up again before Grandfather had jumped the poster and was carrying it away, giggling with delight. "What are you doing?"

"I've got the power now!" the creature who had once been Grandfather said excitedly. "Now I can take over this galaxy and show them all what I'm really made of!"

* * *

Calvin and Sherman were walking up the street when Sherman suddenly felt something in his head click into place. He was so shocked by it he almost fell off of Calvin's shoulder, but the boy managed to help steady him in time.

"What is it?" Calvin asked, taking the hamster in his hands and holding him up. He saw his friend's haunted expression and looked him in the eyes. "What's wrong?"

Sherman looked at him in horror. "I… I don't have a grandfather…"

"… What?"

"Well, I mean, logically, I must've at some point, but I've never met them. I don't even remember my parents…"

"Sherman, I'm not quite following you here. If you don't have a grandfather, who the heck have we been carting around and chasing after this whole time?" Calvin demanded.

"… I don't know… But whoever that creature is, he put some sort of mental power in my mind so I'd think he was a relative…"

Calvin's mind started working again. "That worker… The one who saw him… He said Grandfather should go back to his home planet… What if he saw through the disguise?"

"Then that would mean…"

"He wanted to get into our group somehow. He needed us for something…"

"But what?"

"What's he taken from us?"

"Nothing, really. Just wasted our time. Made this whole situation much harder than it should've been… But whatever he wants, he's gotten it now. He's not bothering with the psychic link anymore…"

* * *

"The signatures," the creature purred, holding the powerful poster above his head. "The power of their signatures… Written on the paper…"

"The paper that hate mail gets written on?" Nebular asked.

"The psychic interface can be unleashed, and with _five signatures _to unleash it, I can manipulate it to control anyone I want!"

"But why us? Why them?" Galaxoid demanded.

"Who better than the five celebrities of the universe? That bounty couldn't have come at a better time! It increased the value of the signatures, fully opening the power!"

"The power…?" Tenzale asked warily.

Nebular realized. "The power of the hate mail… What kind of paper is that?"

"The psychic energy in the hate mail…," Galaxoid murmured.

"Printed the poster myself," the creature said. "Just needed the right incantation to unleash the energy. Got it from the people of the planet Karn…"

"Oh, who cares?" Nebular growled, getting up again. "What did you do with Andy?"

The creature smirked. "Simply told him to go out and enjoy himself."

"Why?"

"Well… with the others out looking for him, they're not here to stop me."

* * *

Andy walked around a local eatery, hoping to find something to satisfy his hunger. He didn't have any currency on him, but he hoped maybe there was something he could swipe. That sounded like living – stealing something probably half-eaten or discarded. It was disgusting, but it seemed like the only thing to do. The rational part of his mind told him to go back to the shelter and eat something there, seeing as how he knew it was safe. But he felt like that would be admitting defeat. He'd be giving in and letting the others know he'd failed.

So he entered the eatery and looked for something. Anything would do at this point. The atmosphere was lacking, however. The whole place seemed to be a tavern for the local construction workers and retail workers, all of whom towered over Andy, even in his disguise. He wandered helplessly through the crowd, trying to find something that might satisfy his hunger. He instead found himself looking up at the four-eyed scaly reptilian bar maid who looked down at him scathingly.

"And just where do you think _you're _going?" she demanded.

Andy froze. "Uh… I was just… looking to sit for a few minutes."

"Well, not without paying for something."

The boy knew he couldn't pay for anything, so he decided it might be in his best interest to just turn around and leave. Unfortunately, he did that in the wrong order. He tried to leave, but he didn't turn around. He didn't see a table where some workers were playing cards and slammed into it, knocking everything over, much to their frustration. He finally did a one eighty, seeing them all glaring at him. Feeling very uncomfortable with their harsh stares, he tried to make for the door.

Unfortunately, he was in such a hurry that he didn't watch where he was going and bumped into a bar game that some workers were playing, and even though he only bumped it slightly, it was enough to cause it to screw up and make them lose. They all looked down at him, glaring accusingly.

Andy gulped. "Whoops! I'm sorry… I didn't mean to…"

But by now, the whole bar was glaring at him, and he felt very small indeed. He didn't feel any better when the barmaid grabbed him by the coat's collar and proceeded to drag him outside, hurling him out the door and into the street. "On your way, troublemaker!" she snarled.

Andy landed in a heap on the sidewalk. He sighed sadly and picked himself up, struggling with his elevator shoes. He staggered off, hoping to find something free to eat, unaware that the same policeman from earlier was watching him.

The policeman had been watching him for some time now. After incident at the river, the person before him had been acting very suspiciously, so he'd decided he'd be worth some further investigation. So far, he hadn't done anything _entirely _illegal, but being a public nuisance was enough to warrant following him around. He kept a reasonable distance behind him and kept on his tail.

* * *

Galaxoid regarded the creature carefully. "Who are you?"

"I'm known as Borad. I'm from the planet Granfomonese. I've always been pushed around, made to look tiny and insignificant. Mocked for being who I am and what I think!"

"Mocked for being a self-centered opportunistic jerk?" Nebular asked innocently.

"Planet Granfomonese…," Galaxoid mused. "The species there evolved into shape shifters with flexible DNA strands that can be mentally rewritten… But our people have studied them. They're decent, kind and peaceful…"

"Every civilization has a criminal element," Tenzale pointed out.

"I'm no criminal!" Borad growled. "I'm the future ruler of the galaxy!"

* * *

"But he's _not _your grandfather…," Socrates said slowly.

"No," Sherman confirmed, having reunited with the gang in an alley.

"Good. Does that mean we can rough him up?"

"First, we need to find out who he is and what his game is," Calvin reminded him. "And we also need to find Andy."

"But how do we find him?" Hobbes asked. "We don't know the first thing about this city."

Calvin thought long and hard about the situation. He paced back and forth, leaving the others to watch him curiously. It was always a good sign when he did this. It usually meant he was coming up with a plan. He paced for about half a minute before it finally came to him, and he faced them with a sly grin.

"I think I know a way we can solve two problems at once."

* * *

Andy meandered down the sidewalk, still unaware that the policeman was following him. The cop was growing a bit bored. Since the incident at the restaurant, the suspect hadn't done anything particularly illegal. Just wandering about, a bit of loitering and vagrancy, but nothing dangerous or troublesome. He was about ready to give it up and go back to his regular patrol when he saw something very peculiar.

Andy stopped by a trashcan and proceeded to pull off his eyeglasses and tossed them away. They had been getting irritating, and he figured they weren't really doing him much good anyway, so he ditched them. He also decided to ditch the elevator shoes, as they were making his ankles sore. He then took off the trench coat, but he decided to keep it, so he merely draped it over his arm to keep his disguise up, along with the hat.

The policeman was confused. Why would anyone throw away bits of their clothing like that? Especially a pair of eyeglasses? They were expensive, and the owner would most likely need them. However, seeing Andy walk perfectly normally convinced him that he had never needed the glasses. They must've been part of a disguise.

His interest renewed, he continued following him.

Andy arrived at a great big construction site in the middle of the road. He peered down into a manhole and saw the big scaly construction workers down below, working away. He decided to observe for a while. It was always interesting to see people working on difficult tasks. Watching them made him feel a bit better after all that parading around town, especially since the results had been so uninteresting. It helped to curb the longing in his heart to return to his friends. They'd probably jeer at him for it.

He stared for so long that the workers felt his presence and glared up at him. Feeling awkward now, the boy turned and looked away, and something much more interesting caught his eye.

There was what appeared to be a female alien trying to make her way across the street, but there were many rain puddles filling the road. Inspired, Andy set about trying to look good for her. He stood to his full height, sleight as it may be, and tried to look impressive. He knew he didn't stand a chance with her, but just seeing her in this ugly downtown wasteland made him feel good. Even for another species, he couldn't help the way his heart was pounding just a little bit faster.

But then he fully registered what she was doing. She was daintily trying to maneuver her way around the puddles, but they were so massive that she was going to be at it for a while, and she was clearly growing distressed.

Throwing out all the many years of feminism instilled in him by his mother, Andy decided to pull a Sir Walter Raleigh and put his coat out over the puddle. After all, he wasn't going to use it anymore. Might as well have some fun. She looked at him, at first uncomprehending, but he simply tipped his hat and smiled at her, and she smiled back, walking across the puddle.

Feeling considerably cheered up, Andy picked up the coat and went around to the next puddle, laying it out again. She got into the spirit of things and laughed a bit, walking across the second puddle. They were both having fun now. Even if it were to only last a few minutes, he was determined to savor the moment. He continued along, across the two more puddles, and she smiled a hundred thousand watt smile that made him feel all tingly. Okay, so she had scaly skin and five eyes. She was still a lady, and he was determined to be a gentleman about it.

The fifth time he did it, Andy was still looking at her, and she was looking at him, so they didn't realize what was about to happen when she stepped on the coat.

She disappeared. And the coat disappeared with her.

Andy blinked in shock before realizing what had happened. She'd disappeared down the open manhole he'd just put his coat over. Looking down in concern, he tried to see if she was okay. She was still on her feet, in the arms of the surprised construction workers, who were looking up in bewildered confusion, wondering why it was suddenly raining women.

Having confirmed she was safe, Andy decided to make himself scarce and leave, only to walk straight into the midsection of the policeman, who glared down at him. He had his man.


	10. The Escape pt II

**Author's Note: **_Oh, look! A chapter update that didn't take a bazillion years! Let's push on to the finale, shall we?_

* * *

Andy was not looking favorably upon his new situation, mainly because he was doing so upside-down. He'd been dangling from chains by his ankles for thirty minutes at this point, feeling the blood rush to his head and making him dizzy. The only thing keeping him awake was his fear.

He could hear the distant voices of the authority figures who'd arrested him and were talking about him just outside the locked door in front of him.

"So what is he?" the commanding officer was asking.

"Human from planet Earth. Saw him acting suspiciously. Wandering abroad. Malicious intent. Acting in a suspicious manner. Conduct liable to cause a breach of the peace. You name it, he's done it."

"Little savage, eh? Still, I never thought we'd have humans all the way out here…"

"I know… Not to worry. We just need a DNA scan and to check his records."

"Good. I'll make the arrangements."

Andy wished he could gulp nervously, but dangling as he was, he knew it would only come out his nose. He could only sway back and forth forlornly, cursing his own stupidity. He'd been able to think more clearly since being arrested, and he had to admit he'd been a bit dim to listen to Grandfather. He'd only gone and gotten himself locked up on an alien planet when he was supposed to be lying low. Now he'd probably not only be locked away or executed, he'd probably endangered his friends in the process. His friends who, despite a bit of teasing and rabblerousing, were his best friends and typically always had his back. He'd just let the aged hamster's words get to him over the whole trip until he'd been unable to focus on anything but his own self-righteous sulking.

He could only wait helplessly until the others were inevitably tracked down and locked up like him.

* * *

The door to the shelter burst open, and Calvin, Hobbes, Socrates and Sherman came running inside, looking around eagerly.

"Galaxoid! Nebular!" Calvin shouted. "We know how to find Andy and stop…"

He trailed off when he saw that no one was there. The lobby was deserted. Not a single creature was milling about.

"Where is everyone?" Hobbes asked.

Sherman scanned the room and noticed the air duct was all lit up. "Er… I think that may be playing a part in it."

They followed his gaze and saw the glow. "That's coming from the basement," Socrates said with some concern.

They immediately headed for the door and were greeted by the glow of the underside of the building. Squinting, they made their way down the creaking stairs, following the sounds of deranged laughter and cries for help that sounded suspiciously like Galaxoid, Nebular and Tenzale.

The reason for this was because it was, in fact, them. They looked up through the light and saw the three aliens were being juggled about in the air by three long coils of energy emanating from what appeared to be a piece of paper on the floor. And there was a strange-looking creature cackling away, waving his hands about as if he were a conductor in a symphony hall, directing the notes on where to go.

It didn't take them long to guess who it was.

"Grandfather, I perceive," Calvin said.

The creature looked over at them and smiled nastily. "Well, well, so you finally figured it out, eh?" he chuckled. "I'm afraid we haven't been properly introduced. I am Board."

"He's a shape shifter!" Galaxoid shouted as he was tossed through the air. "Formed a psychic link to make us think he was the hamster's grandfather!"

"Yeah, we gathered that," Hobbes said, watching the performance. "Did he belong to a circus?"

Borad growled. "So… all that's left to do before I move on is destroy you twits before you stop me…" He snapped his fingers and some more energy stretched out from the poster, forming into hands that were reaching out for them.

"Run away!" Socrates wailed.

Calvin, Hobbes and Socrates ran around them, diving over junk and trash to escape the psychic fingers that were attempting to grasp them and do something horrible with them. Nothing seemed to stop them, so they just kept running around in circles, trying to escape.

Borad didn't mind. He was chuckling away while he continued to throw Galaxoid, Nebular and Tenzale around in the air.

"Someone do something!" Tenzale wailed.

"Can I say something?" Hobbes asked between ducking and weaving.

"Anything!"

"Well, it's highly unlikely we'll be able to do something. The law of averages are against us."

Sherman, meanwhile, had managed to scurry away in hide under a crate. He observed the proceedings, relieved to see he had temporarily eluded the ghostly fingers. He waited until Galaxoid had been juggled just a little closer before he grabbed one of his tentacles and held on for the ride.

"Calvin says we need to contact the parole officers!" he called out as they were tossed about. "Do you know how to do that?"

Galaxoid struggled to think about that as his brains got biffed around in his noggin. "Er… I think in order to do that, you have to get their attention. You have to do something against the law that will rile them."

Sherman nodded and jumped off, landing neatly on Calvin's head. "We need to do something illegal!"

"Like what?" Calvin demanded, dodging out of the way again.

"Hold still, you little maggots!" Borad shouted, summoning even more psychic energy and aiming it at them.

They all had to bob and dodge some more just to get out of the path of the giant hands, which were growing larger with an ethereal glow about them. Calvin motioned to Hobbes and Socrates, who realized he was aiming for the stairs. They nodded in agreement and made a mad dash towards them, quickly escaping through the door and slamming it behind them.

"Any chance that's actually going to hold them?" Hobbes asked, gasping for air.

"Probably not," Sherman replied.

The door suddenly started pounding, and they all backed away as it began to splinter down the middle. Realizing they were in big trouble, they turned and headed for the exit, bursting out into the open air and heading down the sidewalk with the psychic arms continuing to reach out for them.

"We've got to figure out how to reach the parole officers!" Calvin yelled to the others. "What's something illegal we could do?"

"Arson?" Hobbes suggested.

"Murder?" Sherman added.

"Jaywalking?" Socrates finished.

Calvin rolled his eyes. "Be serious!"

They quickly ducked down an alley beside the shelter and ran around towards the back of building, finding the alley next to the field from earlier that day. They ran for the gate and got it open, filing inside and closing the door behind them. The psychic hands caught up, merged into one hand and pulled the door open and shot inside. It didn't realize that our heroes had been counting on this and were hiding behind the door. They ran around and slammed the gate shut behind them, severing the hand from the link and snapping it off. They looked through the crack in the gate and saw it fall to the ground, flopping about a bit before it disappeared into nothing.

"Man, what are the odds?" Socrates remarked.

They ran back to the shelter, ducking inside the back door.

"Okay, that _might _have slowed him down," Calvin said, leaning against the wall to get his breath back.

"We need to find Andy as well," Hobbes reminded him. "There's gotta be a way to track him down!"

They let that thought sit in their heads for a few moments. They took note of the continual glow from the air ducts and knew time of was of the essence.

Then, Socrates noticed the mail slots behind the lobby desk. Getting an idea, he went over to it and pulled out some paper from a drawer. "What if we wrote him a letter?" he suggested.

Calvin snapped his fingers in realization. "The hate mail…" he said, heading over to the desk. "We just write a letter on the Universal Mail and home it on Andy's brain waves. Then we just follow it."

"I'm on it," Socrates said, already pressing one of the small buttons on the corner of paper. The upper-left corner began flashing a small red dot, signifying it was time to start his reply. "Hi, Andy! We're here!" He pressed another button the bottom corner, ending the recording, and the sheet of paper replicated the four-word message onto the paper in a very tidy font. It then proceeded to fold itself in fours and grew its own envelope before levitating out of his paws.

"So now we just follow it to wherever Andy is?" Hobbes asked.

Before anyone could reply, the letter floated higher into the air and zoomed out the door, into the open.

"… This'd be a good time for cleats," Calvin sighed.

They ran out the door after it and followed it into town. It zoomed all over the place, zipping around the buildings and over traffic, forcing them to dodge oncoming vehicles in the process. They couldn't afford to lose track of it.

It took them further and deeper into town, zooming up and down alleys and through a restaurant at one point. They jumped over the road construction site and made their way towards the large building that loomed ahead of them that had a great big sign on the front.

"The police station?!" Calvin exclaimed.

"I hope this doesn't mean he's going to be covered in tattoos and body piercings," Socrates sighed with feeling.

They didn't waste any time. The envelope slid through the crack in the door, and Calvin followed it up the steps, pushing the door open as he went.

The police officers were startled by the letter that came whizzing past them, flying deeper and deeper into the building until it got to the cell door at the end of the hall. It slid underneath and entered where Andy continued to dangle from his ankles. It flew up to him, alarming him greatly when it stopped barely two inches from his nose. It opened itself, and turned upside down to compensate for his captivity.

_Hi, Andy! We're here!_

He looked in the direction of the door just in time for someone to start beating on it.

Outside, Calvin, Hobbes and Socrates were pounding on it, trying to get it open. They almost didn't notice one of the constables coming up behind them, ready to nab them. "What's all this?" he demanded.

"We're here for our driver!" Calvin snapped.

"Now hang on a minute. You can't just come racketing in here and – !"

"Please, sir! Can we have our friend back?" Hobbes asked politely.

Without waiting for a response, Sherman climbed down from Calvin's shoulder and reached inside the lock, pulling on a small mechanism that was holding it shut. With a sizeable grunt, he managed to haul it back again. The door popped open, allowing them to find Andy inside in his current predicament with the letter floating close by.

Running inside, Hobbes proceeded to pick the locks around the boy's ankles with his claws. "Does this count as doing something illegal?" he asked as he and Socrates helped him down.

Calvin shrugged. "It's as close as we can get on such short notice."

The chief had entered by now. "What in the world do you think you're doing?" he demanded.

"Just leaving," Hobbes said politely before rearing up into a pounce, knocking the chief down and clearing a path for everyone else to get through the door. Socrates picked Andy up and put him around his back so he could get the feeling back in his legs, and with Sherman in Calvin's pocket the team was back together. They dashed across the fallen chief and followed Hobbes out the door and into freedom.

Behind them, a loud claxon echoed around town, signifying a chase was on.

They followed Hobbes up the street and into town again.

Andy tried to speak up. "Now hold on…," he said, bucking up and down on Socrates's back. "I don't… I really think we should…"

"Save your breath!" Socrates replied.

Hobbes suddenly skidded to a halt, and the others quickly saw why. Coming up the sidewalk was a group of police creatures, all having heard the claxon and now moving in on their targets.

"This way!" Calvin shouted, pointing down an alley. They followed him down it with a herd of police creatures following them the whole way.

The alley was very long, constantly twisting and turning, and after a few hundred yards, they were beginning to feel they'd lost their sense of direction. They didn't have time to stop and think, what with the cops hounding them the entire way. They fought to keep air in their lungs as they followed Calvin further and further along until, at long last, they made it to an opening, back out in front of the road.

It was a narrow street with no traffic, and they had run far enough ahead to stop and breathe for a few seconds. Calvin's head swiveled this way and that, trying to figure out where they were in relation to the shelter where Galaxoid and Nebular were. "This way!" Calvin said, turning right and pelting up the street.

Hobbes and Socrates, still carrying Andy, followed him just as the cops were catching up. They ran up the street a bit before Calvin suddenly veered down another alley.

"Shortcut!"

They raced as fast as they could, listening to their footsteps echoing on the high walls. They reached the other end of the alley and ran out and down the sidewalk, only to find they were once again running up the steps to the police station.

They'd gone in a complete circle!

With no time to stop, they ran all the way up and inside, startling the remaining staff. The herd of policemen came running in after, just as out of breath as their prey. Soon, the whole building was full of police creatures, all gasping for breath from the long chase, some sitting down and getting drink from the cooler.

The chief had recovered from his earlier pouncing and glared at them. "Now just what _is _going on here?"

Calvin waved him away, bent over and gasping. "Just a second… Let me get my breath back…"

The chief nodded and waited, crossing his scaly arms and leaning against the desk.

Calvin heaved air into his lungs, watching Hobbes and Socrates do the same. By now, Andy had feeling in his legs, and he felt confident he could move under own power again. He expressed this with a nod to Calvin while he was bent over, and his friend merely raised an eyebrow in response before resuming his breathing exercises.

After a few seconds, and while all the police were regaining their composure, he stood up a bit straighter, still a bit red-faced but otherwise okay.

"Better now?" the chief asked.

Calvin nodded faintly. "Yeah, I think so… Guys?"

Hobbes, Andy and Socrates all nodded in agreement.

"Good."

They all broke into a sprint back out the door, forcing their way past the cops in the process and out into the open.

The startled cops struggled back to their feet and proceeded after them with the chief in the lead this time.

This time, Hobbes took the lead, and following his instincts, he led the others down the street and across town, back in the direction of the shelter. It wouldn't have been difficult to find, however. By the time they were within half a mile of it, they could already see the sky flickering with the psychic energy.

They could all tell that Borad was about to initiate his plan. They hightailed it in that direction, but something cut them off.

It was the all-too-familiar sight of Dracip and his team. They were barring the narrow path through the alley that would take them to the shelter.

"Oh, wow," Calvin said, skidding to a halt with the others. "Looks like we got a result after all."

The police were coming up behind them, all set to apprehend their prey, when they registered who was standing in front of them. They similarly skidded to a halt at the sight of the towering Dracip.

"What seems to be the trouble, officer?" Dracip hissed.

The cops behind him were out of breath, so the chief was forced to speak up. "Er… we're here to arrest these… creatures…," he said as authoritatively as he could.

Dracip pulled out his badge. "These boys are all wanted by the Intergalactic Bounty Federation," he said with twice as much authority. "They will be taken into custody by us, and us alone."

The chief looked at the badge, seeing the official letterhead, and nodded with reluctant acceptance. "Right…," he said with a weak smile. "Well… I guess we'll just leave you to it, then."

"Thank you."

The police creatures turned and shuffled away, thoroughly exhausted and irritated after what had been a pointless chase. As they disappeared back up the street, Dracip turned on Calvin and the others.

"So," he growled, "what inspired you to break into prison?"

Calvin looked at him for a long moment. "How long have you guys been standing here?" he asked at last.

"Not long."

"But in all that time, you never looked behind you?"

Dracip took a quick look through the alley, and then it turned into a full-on stare as he saw the shelter lighting up with energy. "Oh…"

* * *

Borad had finally stopped tossing Galaxoid, Nebular and Tenzale around, having decided instead to trap them in a glowing psychic prison that levitated above the ground. He was busily standing over the glowing poster, all set to enact the final part of his grand plan.

"Right…," he purred. "Now that I've gotten in some basic practice, it's just a matter of taking the power _out of _the paper and into my mind so I can control everything at will!"

"And what will you do with your newfound power?" Galaxoid asked.

"I'll start by travelling back to my world and showing them what I'm capable of!"

"You mean, just sitting around, stuffing your face and being a general nuisance?" Nebular asked dryly. "You can do that _without _the power, you know…"

Borad growled. "When your friends get back here, I'll wipe them out and make sure _no one _is left to stop me!"

"_If _they come back," Tenzale muttered bitterly.

"Oh, they'll be back. They're just the sort of sissies who'd try and put me in my place…"

"I resent that implication," Calvin's voice said in an affronted tone.

Borad turned and saw, standing across the room, were Calvin, Hobbes, Andy, Sherman and Socrates, all glaring at him sternly.

"Ah ha," he said, grinning triumphantly. "About time you got here…"

"You lay a single glowy hand on us, and we can't promise you'll come out of this alive," Calvin said, unimpressed.

Borad just chuckled. "Oh, just give us a moment," he said pleasantly. "I'll soon settle you all." He leaned over the glowing poster and put his hands against the paper. He closed his eyes and began to murmur some sort of invocation, no doubt trying to summon the power within it. The glow was beginning to surround him as he spoke.

Socrates, however, spoke up. "You're just doing it for attention, aren't you?"

That was enough to interrupt Borad's flow of thought, and the light retracted quickly back into the poster. "… What?" he asked as he glared at the tiger through one eye.

"Well, think about it. You say you were never appreciated on your own planet. You're just lashing out. Think about it. You could've just gone someplace else. Found people who _did _appreciate you for who you are. Instead, you had to go all out-and-out insane and plan to rule the galaxy out of some insane bid to satisfy your battered ego."

Borad glared at him. "I'm busy."

Socrates just smiled pleasantly. "Are you?"

Borad tried to resume his ritual, but the tiger's words continued to buzz around in his head, and he couldn't concentrate. The glow was taking a weird shape now, swirling around the room in a weird pattern. Even the glowing cage that held Galaxoid, Nebular and Tenzale began to dissolve, slowly lowering them to the ground. As the bars began to fade, they found they were able to pass through them without any difficulty.

Borad angrily pounded his fists on the floor, and all the energy quickly dissipated. "Fine! I'll destroy you little so-and-so's first!"

They all smiled winningly and turned to run up the stairs. Borad gestured dramatically, causing the glowing fingers to reach out and coil around them right before they could make it to the door. They found themselves dangling in the air, struggling to get free.

Borad smirked as he held them over his head. "I was hoping to get a change of scenery with you bunch of sissies. And what did I see? A spaceship and a room, then a shuttle and a room, and a room and a room! Well, that may be all right for a bunch of twits like you, but it's left me feeling incredibly straitjacketed."

"Not to mention being trapped in that tiny hamster body for days on end," Hobbes pointed out. He noticed a scowl on Sherman's face. "No offense."

Andy cleared his throat and spoke for the first time since the chase. "Hey… the power's coming from the poster, right?" he asked.

Borad sighed irritably. "_Yes_…"

"Then… what happens if someone tears up the poster?"

Galaxoid, Nebular and Tenzale all looked at each other inquiringly. Then, realizing they were free to act, they dove forward at Borad while his back was turned. Galaxoid and Nebular charged him and knocked him to the ground, causing the psychic arms to dissolve, dropping our heroes on the ground. Tenazle got hold of the poster and promptly ripped it in half.

As they staggered back onto their feet, Calvin gave Andy a comradely slap on the back. "Our Andrew – always thinking the obvious!" he said approvingly.

"Glad we didn't leave him to rot in prison," Socrates agreed.

"Wouldn't have look all that good in an orange jumpsuit anyway," Hobbes added, tussling the boy's hair.

Andy felt a warm glow inside of him. He _was _wanted.

Borad stared at the torn poster in fury, trying to get out from under Galaxoid and Nebular. He managed to get out from under them and yank the shreds out of Tenzale's hands. "No… it's not fair! This was my big chance! I could've finally brought them to their knees!"

"So you've lost the power of the poster?" Sherman asked innocently.

Borad threw the ruined poster to the floor. "Yes! It's all ruined! And it's all because of _you_!" he shouted furiously.

"So… that means all you've got left is your own fighting power."

It took a few moments, but Borad's fury gave way to confusion, and then to fear when he realized how angry everyone in the room was at him, and they were starting to advance on him. He began to back away, bumping into a few packing crates, but he managed to clamber up onto a platform above them. Then, he remembered from earlier. It was the loading platform. If he was fast enough, he could escape the dockworkers from above and escape through the lobby. He immediately went over and pushed the lever, and the trapdoor over his head slid open, and he began to ascend.

"Ha!" he laughed triumphantly as he rose through the floor. "See you around, losers!"

He was so smug that he didn't notice the satisfied grins on their faces. If he had, he might've realized that he was doing exactly what they wanted him to do. When he arrived in the room above, he found himself surrounded _not _by the workers from earlier, but the scowling face of Dracip and his team, all of whom were holding weapons pointed right at him, and ready to apprehend him at a moment's notice.

Dracip approached him with a fierce glare. "You are hereby under arrest for threatening the universe," he said with perfect authority.

Borad stuttered uselessly as he found himself encased in a round orange force field.

* * *

A few hours later, Borad had been loaded into the bounty hunters' shuttle, ready to be taken away for interrogation and arrest. He'd had a special bracelet put on that solidified his DNA, freezing him in his neutral state so he couldn't change again. He sat pitifully in custody.

Tenzale was shaking hands with Calvin and the gang, still shaken from the ordeal. "You don't know what it means to me that you came back," he wept. "It could've meant… less than stellar reviews…"

"We'll be sure to give you a good rating in the Official On-the-Run-From-the Law Guidebook," Socrates said brightly.

Galaxoid and Nebular came out, carrying several bags that they passed out to Calvin and the gang. "Okay," Galaxoid said. "Time we were getting on the road, so to speak. Take you lot back to Earth and whatnot."

"Glad to hear it," said Andy.

"Yeah," Calvin agreed. "We wasted a whole week of summer vacation worrying about this."

"Only a week? Felt like six months," Hobbes said with a sigh, taking whatever bags he could carry.

Dracip's officers were piling into the shuttle to take Borad away. He approached the group himself before boarding. "Well," he said, "again – apologies for the trouble. But thank you for helping us capture this criminal. He'll stand trial as soon as possible."

"Anytime," Calvin replied. "By the way, did you ever find out who put out the baloney bounty in the first place?"

"I thought it was Borad who did that," said Nebular, looking confused.

"Pfft! Nah, he was a bonus," Sherman grumbled.

"We traced it, but it's out of our jurisdiction," Dracip said regretfully. "He's… not our usual sort of criminal…"

Calvin held out a hand expectantly, and Dracip handed him a sheet of paper. He skimmed over it and nodded. "Yep… just as I suspected…"

"Who is it?" Hobbes asked.

Calvin held out the sheet, and their eyes all widened.

"Whoa…," said Andy.

"Makes sense, when you think about it," Sherman remarked, scratching his chin.

"So what are we going to do about it?" Socrates asked. "What if he tries something like this again?"

Calvin nodded. "Don't worry. I've thought about it." He turned to Galaxoid and Nebular. "I need to send a piece of hate mail, if you don't mind. Can you supply me with some paper?"

* * *

_**Two days later…**_

Calvin and the gang had been safely returned to Earth at this point, but a certain envelope was making a b-line straight for a certain red planet that stood many light-years away from them.

The planet was in a state of war at the moment. Many ships were flying around it, firing down upon the surface, blasting everything they could. The war was new, but it had been building for some time now. The oppressors who ran this planet had been torturing the universe for too long. They had one goal in mind – they had to destroy the king.

Amidst all the blasting and smoke and laser fire, that single envelope never gave up on its journey. Neither rain nor sleet nor snow nor planetary war would stop it from completing its appointed round.

It continued along, dodging mortar and brimstone as it chugged towards its destination. The destination was a massive castle that loomed ahead. It was still standing, tall and proud amongst the rubble. As everything burned around it, it still looked as regal and ostentatious as it had since the beginning.

Standing at a window on the highest tower, the leader stood, watching as his empire began to burn around him. His people were fighting back as best as they could, but their various enemies were growing stronger. What he had hoped would be a brief skirmish was showing signs of growing into an all-out battle for the future.

Imagine his surprise when the envelope landed on the windowsill.

Curious, he opened it. The letter began to levitate in front of him, and a familiar voice rang out as he selected the audio option.

"_Hey, Rupert. Calvin here. Nice try with the fake bounty, but we got everything squared away and are now recognized as allies of the Intergalactic Bounty Organization. I think I might even know what career to get into when I graduate college. Still, just wanted you to know that your plan has failed, and I look forward to the next one. My regards to your crew. Good luck with the war. Regards, Calvin. PS – we dealt with your old gang, The Collective, already. Just you and I now, pal._"

The message ended, and Rupert could only stare at it in fury as the paper refolded itself and laid itself out on the sill again. Furious, he snatched it up in his tentacles, balled it and threw it into the fires raging outside.

"That's it…," he growled. "It's time to deal with this boy once and for all…"

* * *

**Author's Note: **_And now we prepare for _Calvin and Hobbes III: Double Trouble REWRITTEN. _Not sure when that's going to be exactly. I'm in talks with Swing right now, and I'm writing out an outline, trying to decide on the plotline. At the very latest, you can start expecting word on the first chapter sometime in January, if not earlier. Keep an eye out for it, eh? Looking forward to it._

_Also - the movie this story is based on is the Beatles film_ A Hard Day's Night. _If you haven't seen it, go watch it somewhere and see if you can spot the similarities. See ya!_


End file.
